


Truly Madly Deeply

by witchindancin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Get Married, Castiel and Dean Winchester Live Together, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Claire Novak's Parents, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Saps, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Teasing, Top Dean Winchester, Wedding Fluff, castiel and dean are just the sappiest couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28264839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchindancin/pseuds/witchindancin
Summary: A year has passed since they defeated Chuck and Jack saved Castiel from The Empty. Now, life is easier and Cas and Dean find themselves on their path to a happy future. On their wedding day, they think back of all that happened that lead up to the proposal.[This is a fluff fic because my heart needs it and I listened to "Truly Madly Deeply" too much]
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

Cas’ hands trembled as he was walking up and down the corridor. Breathing in sharply because he had to force himself to do it. Anxious, he pulled out his phone and checked the time. _42 minutes to go_. He could do it. He could hold it together for this long. The corridor was empty, dark shadows drawing figures on the floor; soft light creeping in through the huge, gothic windows. It was beautiful. Pacing, he turned on his heel and walked the length of the stone wall back from where he came from. The sandstone walls radiating a subtle heat, that they had soaked in from outside. His stomach clenched, unnaturally, sinking deeper. _Breathe_ , he thought. _Breathe_. He could call Sam, or go see how the preparations went along, even though Claire and Jack had told him several times now to stop checking on them. That everything was just fine and would be ready in time. Turning his face to the sky, he sighed. Blue eyes huge with worry and excitement. Was it normal that he was so worried? Did ‘people’ worry on such a day? Wasn’t he supposed to be as happy as can be? Then again, he was and besides that, he had little to no knowledge of people in general. Exasperated he let his head fall and brought his hands to his hips, an image of cluelessness. He wondered about Dean, he wondered how he felt. Was he worried, too? A stinging pain pierced through him. Everything was going to be ok. _I can hold it together_.

**Four months earlier.**

Dean was sitting on the couch in the bunker, Miracle by his side. Absentmindedly he petted its head. Jack was in their room doing whoknowswhat and Sam was out somewhere with Eileen. The TV was on, playing Scooby-Doo reruns. Maybe he should tell Jack and they could watch it together, he mused. But then again, he didn’t know how to talk to the kid these days. All the guilt and the shame of the last year still lingered in his head. He had apologised and Jack said that they accepted his apology with a smile. But Dean still felt awful about it. Jeez, he had tried to drown the kid, he had used him as a bomb! He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. Jack said it was fine, so its fine, he tried to convince himself. And Cas had said he shouldn’t separate himself from Jack like that. _It will only make matters worse, Dean._ Cas had said one evening after they all had dinner together and Dean hadn’t been able to look Jack in the face the whole time. They had sat on the couch together, watching something he didn’t even remember because he hadn’t paid attention. _Jack wants you in their life, don’t take that away from them. Don’t block them out._ Cas had taken Dean’s hand ever so softly and stroked his thumb over the back of his fingers. _Don’t block them out_. Dean didn’t answer that night but just leaned against Cas, head full. Things were easy with Cas now. Just one look and he knew what Dean was thinking. Dean didn’t know how he did it, but it has always been like that and Dean was finally happy to just accept it. He remembered it vividly the first moments when Cas was back.

It was more than a year ago now. After Jack had brought Cas back, things were easier in general. It was awkward at first. Cas had shifted from one foot to another, avoiding Dean’s look. Sam had just stared at both of them, unsure what was happening. Jack, being Jack, watched them sheepishly, unaware of the tension. Dean hadn’t said a word about what had happened in the bunker that night. What Cas had told him. The words were just for him, he had decided. They were his and no one else’s. Then, when Cas was back with them and after Sam had told him everything that had happened to Chuck and with Jack, he and Jack left, giving Dean and Cas space to talk alone.

“Dean,”, Cas had started, that scratchy, husk voice full of fear and guilt. But Dean made a gesture telling him to stop talking. His eyes had drifted over the floor, looking at something only he could see. What felt like an eternity to them both, Dean had looked up and looked directly into those eyes, eyes as blue as the sky. “I am sorry, Cas.”, his voice was little more than a whisper. “I am sorry, for that night. I didn’t know what to say and I was so scared,”, his voice was shaking. “You don’t have to be sorry, D-”, Cas started but Dean shook his head rapidly. “No, let me talk.”, he swallowed hard. He had to do this. His hands had been shaking, and his head felt dizzy. “I am sorry. For that night. But also, for the nights before that. I-”, he stopped again. “I felt confused for a long time. I was insecure. I was hurt by – I don’t know, by life?”, his gaze wandered through the room again. He brought one hand to his mouth and rubbed his lips. “I never thought, that, that you could feel… the way I”, tears had gathered in his eyes as he finally looked up at Cas again. The angel looked at him in disbelief. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly open. “I am sorry Cas, but ever since Purgatory”, Dean’s voice went weak. He breathed in unsteadily, his hand went up and to the back of his head, a self-soothing motion. “I never thought you could love me back.”, he finally said and looked up again, into those eyes he thought he would never see again. “I love you, Cas.”, the words tumbled out of his mouth. “I loved you for a long time, even though I tried not to.” He made a step towards Cas, who still stood motionless, shell-shocked. “Don’t think I am something you can’t have, because you already got me.”, he pulled the man he loved close to him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. For a moment Cas froze, but then his arms came up and wrapped around Dean so effortlessly, like the wind wrapped around the trees. Dean nestled his face in the crook between Cas’ neck and shoulder, breathing in deeply. His legs were shaking, and he feared they might give out. But it felt so good to finally say those words, that had lingered on his tongue for so long. “I love you”, he whispered into Cas’ trench coat. Cas gripped him tighter and let his head sink onto his shoulder. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t say a word, because in his head only three words echoed, filling his whole being with the meaning. He was saved. Minutes passed; both couldn’t say for how long they stood in that embrace. Comfortable with the knowledge of being loved. The truth was out. Dean pulled back to get a look of Cas’ face. This glorious face. He breathed in sharply. How beautiful he looked. “I am glad you told me, Cas.”, he said, a small smile tucking on his lips. Cas smiled flustered. Neither of them knew what to do next, so Dean took another step back, keeping Cas at arm’s length and inspected him thoroughly. “So, you feelin’ alright?”, he asked. Cas nodded and laughed. “Yes, Jack dragged me out in one piece.”, his arms spreading wide as he did so often, only restricted by Dean’s firm grip. “Good.”, Dean nodded. “Want a beer or somethin’?”, he asked unsure how to proceed. You tell your best friend, that he is the love of your life and then what? Cas nodded, still smiling. “That would be nice, Dean.” Silently they had sat on the couch together, drinking beer and watching TV. Happy in just being.

**41 minutes to go.**

Dean sat on the windowsill, fingering at his cufflinks. They were new, just as the rest of his outfit. He had bought it with Sam, in a way too fancy boutique and spent far too much money on it. No one should ever spend that much money on a suit. Usually, when Sam and he bought suits for hunting trips, to act like feds, they went to the dodgy shops in crammed alleyways. But this time they went to a high-end street. The woman in the shop had handed them a glass of sparkling wine and greeted them with a smile, big and sweet and fake. When they had told her what they were looking for, her smile had grown even brighter. _Aah, call me old-fashioned but you two shouldn’t be shopping together, you should see each other in your suits on your wedding day!_ , she had laughed heartily. _We’re not-_ , Sam had started but was interrupted by Dean, who just looked annoyed. Why did people always think they were a couple? Jeez. _He’s my brother_ , he explained dryly. _Oh my, I’m sorry!_ , the lady had exclaimed, but she didn’t sound sorry, just amused. _Well, alrighty then. Let’s have a look_. Dean smoothed over the sleeve of his suit, warm sunlight on his back. The fabric felt nice beneath his touch. He liked the suit. He hated that woman, but he liked the suit. Sam had also made him buy a new shirt and new shoes and Dean had complied. He wanted to look good, not for him, but for Cas. He wondered what Cas was wearing. Clair and Jack had taken Cas shopping and they told both of them, that they weren’t allowed to see each other’s outfits beforehand. Dean shook his head. Since when were they so keen on traditions? Probably they only wanted to wind them up, so they would lose it when they saw each other in the hall later. He checked his watch, 40 minutes to go. Clearing his throat, he thought about what he wanted to say later. Arranging his words again and again in his mind. _It’s alright_ , he thought, _everything will be alright_. Soon he found himself pacing the room. His hand went up to his breast pocket, where Sam had put the little flower. His stomach felt empty, even though Eileen had made him have some breakfast. A knock on the door yanked him out of his thoughts. “Dean?”, he heard Cas’ voice. His heart skipped a beat.

**Twelve months earlier.**

It had been a quiet day in the bunker. Jack had gone out to Jody’s to hang out with the girls, Sam and Eileen were shopping and wouldn’t be back until later that evening. Cas and Dean were still unsure how to act around each other after their talk. All the fear and guilt they had been carrying for over a decade didn’t just vanish overnight. Since Dean had told Cas he loved him three days ago, they tiptoed around each other, clueless of how to deal with their feelings now that they were out in the open. Even though they spent most of their day together, searching for hunting jobs, cooking dinner or watching TV, they hadn’t _done_ anything couple-y since. Maybe, because being around each other was so ordinary to them since they had been living with each other for so long, it felt weird to start doing things they hadn’t done before. Cas felt the urge to hug Dean more often but didn’t want to do anything prematurely. Maybe they just needed time to get used to the idea of them both as a couple. “Want a beer?”, Dean stuck his head in Cas’ room. Cas was tidying his things. He nodded and followed Dean out into the kitchen. “There is a Dr Sexy M.D. marathon on, wanna watch?”, he said casually. “Sure.”, came the short response. Cas’ shoulders tightened. They sat down; the series was already on. Dean opened their beers and held one out for Cas. Their fingers brushed against each other, as they did so often the past couple of years, but this time it felt like an electric jolt went through Cas’ hand. He swallowed, his tongue feeling thick. Dean leaned back, settling into the couch, eyes fixed on the screen. Cas glanced at him, guiding his beer towards his lips and took a sip. He was beautiful, even in the most mundane setting. Dean Winchester, the man that loved him. His eyes flickered to the television. He had no idea what that series was about, the characters were foreign to him and their dynamics confusing. Trying to relax he nuzzled himself against the cushion. It was a start. When they finished their first beer, Dean got up and got two new ones from the kitchen. Cas watched his every move, his heart racing. He breathed in deeply to steady himself. Dean returned and set the bottle in front of Cas and sat down again. His arm came up on rested on the backrest of the couch. It looked inviting, but Cas didn’t dare to move. A few minutes passed and then Dean cleared his throat suddenly. “Well,”, he said the insecurity only barely hidden in his tone, his face still glued to the screen, “do you want to stay pressed to the corner all night. Or do you want to come here?” Cas’ eyes widened for a second, then, as if on autopilot, he moved closer to Dean. Carefully, he leaned against him, testing, feeling his way toward the warm body. Dean’s arm came down and curled around Cas, his hand landing on his hip. Breathing out, Cas surrendered completely and put his weight against Dean, pressing his cheek against Dean’s shoulder. It felt so strange, and yet as if he had always leaned against Dean like that. Hours past and Cas was now snuggled up against Dean, feeling safe and sound in the other man’s presence. He heard Dean mouthing some of the dialogue and smiled quietly to himself. Dean Winchester, his beautiful Dean.

“Wanna watch something else?”, Dean asked in and advert break. “No, it’s fine.”, Cas replied too content with himself. “Okay. But I could eat.” Cas heard himself groan, he didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to miss Dean’s warmth beside him, not even for a couple of minutes. Dean raised an eyebrow and shot him a look: “What?”. “Nothing,”, Cas replied embarrassed by his neediness. Dean smirked like a lion watching his prey. “You miss me already?”, he teased and Cas blushed. “No.”, he said shakily. “Well, you can come and help me cook, if you need my so desperately.”, he chuckled, and Cas wanted to vanish into thin air. “What do you want to eat?”, he asked to distract Dean. “I think we still have some pizza in the freezer.”, he said shrugging. He didn’t feel like cooking, he planned to be as quickly back on that couch as he could, even if he would never admit to that. Cas followed Dean into the kitchen and watched him take out the pizza and popping it into the oven, then turning on the heat, his back to him. Cas didn’t know what came over him, but he suddenly found himself behind Dean, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and pressing himself against him. Warmth greeting him and the distinct smell of Dean’s skin. It smelled so oddly familiar. Dean had frozen for a moment but then eased into the hug, leaning lightly against Cas. He put his head into his neck and closed his eyes, trying to take everything in. “Hey,”, he said softly and turned around. He held Cas in his arms, then he bent his head forward and placed his lips on Cas’ head, kissing the crown of his head. “Hey”, he whispered against the strands of black, tousled hair. Cas slowly looked up and blue eyes met green. Hesitantly, Cas reached a hand up to the back of Dean’s head, his chest felt tight. Dean felt his stomach drop and excitement spread in his body. Achingly slow, Cas moved his face closer to Dean’s, whose eyes were fluttering shut. Cas felt like his heart wanted to beat out of his chest and he feared that Dean could feel it since their bodies were flushed together so tightly. His eyes were only open a smidge and then he felt warm breath on his lips. His stomach fluttered. Cas closed the distant, Dean patiently waiting for him. Their lips touched, only softly at first but with every move, they grew more confident and the kiss grew more passionate. Hot air was exchanged between the two of them, lips wet and red. The rush made Cas cling closer to Dean, gripping his shirt and pressing against him even tighter. Dean’s hands moved over Cas’ body, feeling, searching, letting no inch of his angel untouched. Cas’ head started spinning as he felt Dean’s tongue licking over his lips and breaking into his mouth. The hand that was behind Dean’s head, slid onto his face, fingers tracing over the stubble on Dean’s cheek and chin. Every now and then Cas broke free to breath and Dean gave him only a second before he demanded his mouth back on his face. Like teenagers, they stood in the kitchen, panting, dizzy and unable to stop themselves. A beeping noise pierced through the air, as the alarm for their pizza went off. Dean considered to just let it bleep, but then the real danger of ending their make-out session because of a fire hit him. How would he explain that to Sam? “The pizza,” Cas breathed heavily. “I know”, Dean said a finger tracing along the small of Cas’ back. “I got it.” Cas took a step back, his head still spinning. Dean took out the pizza and placed it on the counter. He turned around and reached for Cas’ hand, pulling him close again. “Wanna take that to the couch?”, mischief sparkled in his eyes.

They took their pizza and settled on the couch again. Cas only had a piece, while Dean ate almost the whole pie. Pushing the plate a bit further back on the table in front of them, Dean spread himself out on the couch and pulled Cas on his lap, his stomach to Cas’ back. He curled his arms around him and turned up the volume of the TV. Cas sank into Dean, aware of every bone and muscle in his body. He felt Dean behind him, felt Dean’s hand lazily caressing his arm, long fingers tracing over the fabric of his suit. “Can you take that off?”, Dean asked suddenly. “What?”, Cas asked irritated. “The jacket.”, Dean murmured, and Cas shimmied out of his jacket, letting it fall carelessly on the floor in front of them. Dean rolled up the sleeve of Cas’ shirt and started to stroke over the soft skin on his arm. Cas blushed and turned his head towards the television. He wasn’t used to this kind of attention. Another episode of Dr Sexy M.D. flickered over the screen, the title music rolling. Dean hummed along with it. Cas tried to follow the plot, but the feeling of Dean’s fingers on his body was too distracting. It was in the middle of the episode another feeling joined the fingers on Cas’ arms. Lips graced his neck and skin tingled were hot breath floated over it. Dean started kissing the exposed skin above Cas’ collar, his nose touching Cas’ jawline ever so lightly. His whole body felt on fire all of a sudden. Dean’s other hand came up and skilfully unbuttoned the first few buttons of Cas’ shirt, exposing more skin underneath. Unable to do anything else, Cas pressed into Dean, hungry for the touch of his lips and the rest of his body. He felt Dean smile against his neck. Then the kisses became bolder, stickier, lingering. Cas moaned. He shifted slightly to give Dean more space to touch him and Dean didn’t wait a second longer. He turned Cas around, one arm around his waist, the other on his hipbone, pressing Cas down. His lips moved from Cas’ neck to his chin and then further up to the corner of his mouth. He took his time and it almost drove Cas insane. “Dean”, he moaned, pleading. He heard him chuckle, then Dean’s lips were on his again, sucking, breathing into him. A firework started in Cas’ inside, sending jolts through his body. He never felt like that before. Desperate for touch he gripped Dean’s shoulder, holding onto him as they moved slowly. Their movement became more erratic, thrusting into each other, hands moving up and down. For a second Dean stopped, he was on top of Cas, looking down and staring in his blue eyes. Tentatively he let his body drop down onto Cas, bringing their mouths together again. It felt right. Cas let out soft moans, whimpering under Dean’s touch, which made Dean lose his mind. He pushed a leg between Cas’ legs and pressed it against him. Cas gasped and then moved with him. Fervently, Cas started to pull Dean’s flannel off his shoulders. He couldn’t stay like this for longer, he needed to touch Dean. Now.

Dean let him undress him, let him pull the shirt off as well. Cas touched his chest and moved his fingers over his arms. “Like what you see?”, Dean joked and grinned at him. Cas, breathless, couldn’t even roll his eyes at him. Dean unbuttoned the rest of Cas’ shirt and traced his finger down his chest and stomach, before Cas forced him down again, eagerly searching for his lips. The panting grew heavier and Cas felt urges, he never felt before. He wanted to rip the jeans off of Dean. He needed them gone. Dean, who had seen the look Cas was throwing him before, twitched in excitement and arousal. He kissed Cas again, licking all over and inside his mouth, while his hands went down to Cas’ trousers, unbuckling the belt. With shaking hands, Cas tried the same, fingering at Dean’s belt. After Dean snapped open Cas’ belt, he unbuckled his own. Unable to keep away for long, Dean pressed himself onto Cas again, still moving and thrusting against him. “Off”, he managed to get out and tucked at Cas’ trousers. “Off”, he repeated. Cas did as he was told and wriggled out of them. Laying on the couch only in his pants and unbuttoned shirt beneath Dean, Cas was a sight for sore eyes, especially to the eyes of a certain hunter. “Fuck,”, he let out and started at the panting, flustered angel underneath him. He pulled down his jeans but couldn’t bother to lose them all the way. Instead, he bent down and started to kiss Cas’ neck and collarbone, moving towards his stomach. Cas closed his eyes, just concentrating on the feeling of Dean’s lips on his skin. When Dean reached the hem of his pants, he breathed hotly against the fabric. He never done anything like this before and insecurity tucked at his mind. But he shoved it aside and just let his body guide him. Carefully, he started kissing the inside of Cas’ thighs, sucking at the soft skin, coaxing moans and groans from his angel. He was getting hard and he could tell that the same was true for Cas. He kissed the imprint on Cas’ pants, breathing against it. Cas twitched and twisted, and his hands were searching for Dean. He found a hand and squeezed it, overwhelmed by the anticipation. Finally, Dean pulled down Cas’ pants and started to suck on Cas’ cock. It felt strange at first, but with every motion, it became more natural, and Cas’ whimpers and lustful noises definitely helped. Cas moaned and Dean grew more confident, toying around Cas’ cock with his tongue, licking the stretched skin. Salvia running down at the corner of his mouth, his chin was wet. Dean always fashioned himself to be good at giving head and from the sound of it, he didn’t disappoint this time as well. Sucking Cas, almost made him come. Something that never happened before. Breathing heavily, he stopped and pulled back, wiping away the fluid dripping down his face. Cas groaned, unfulfilled. “Shh”, Dean calmed him. He pulled down his jeans a bit more and set up, straddling Cas. With a quick motion, he gripped both his and Cas’ cock with the hand that was still wet from wiping his face. Thrusting into Cas, fucking them both with his hand, he felt lust roll through him. He wanted them to come together. It was their first time after all. Cas started moaning again and Dean didn’t stand a chance but joined him. Cas back hulked up, the sensation of Dean’s mouth on his body still present and now his hand around his cock almost being too much. He wouldn’t last much longer. “Dean”, he groaned hoarsely. “Yes, fuck”, Dean breathed out. They thrusted into each other, Dean’s grip getting harder, almost painful around them. Dean breathed out sharply between his teeth. _Almost_. Then with a yelp, Cas came, cum covering Dean’s bare chest. Dean only had to thrust against Cas one last time and then he, too, rumbled as he came. Weak, he slumped over Cas, who already put his arms around his back, guiding him down onto him. “Fuck”, Dean breathed out. Cas nestled his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. “I love you.”, he whispered against Dean’s skin and he felt Dean smile. “I love you, too, Cas.”, Dean said softly. He truly did.


	2. Chapter 2

**40 minutes to go**.

Cas couldn’t help himself, so he decided to check on Claire and Jack for a fourth time today. He was well on his way to the inside of the chapel when Jody crossed his path. “What are you doing here?”, she eyed him suspiciously. “I was just check-”, Cas started to explain but Jody shook her head. “No, the kids are fine. Go to your room Cas.”, Jody ushered him back from where he came from and accompanied him back to his dressing room. “Don’t worry”, she said an encouraging smile on her lips. She walked fast; she probably had been on her way somewhere but felt the duty to make sure the groom was not going crazy. “Everything is going a-ok and in not even an hour you two will be happy as can be.” She paused in front of the door and turned to Cas, who had a frown on his head, helpless eyes searching her face. “Believe me, Cas.”, she said confidently, her brown eyes beaming. “Just try to relax. Dean won’t get cold feet, I’m sure of it.”, she winked and opened the door, waiting for him to go inside. “Yes, you’re right.”, Cas didn’t sound convinced. “Should I ask Donna to keep you company?”, she offered. “No, no it’s fine. I’m fine.”, Cas tried to smile, but he was sure it looked more like a grimace than a smile. “Okay.”, and with that Jody had closed the door and was on her way again. _Cold feet_ , Cas thought. He had heard that before. Or read about it when he researched for the wedding. He looked at the pair of thick wool socks he had brought with him. Now or never, he thought. Even though no one was around, he sneaked out of the room and walked up the corridor again. Outside the branches swayed in the wind, rattling through the leaves. No one crossed his way this time. He was lucky. Not long and he stopped in front of a heavy door. The wood was dark and shiny. A reddish-brown. He breathed in deeply, his insides were shaking. Looking around to make sure nobody was around, he brought up his hand and knocked cautiously. No one answered. “Dean”, he said, his voice croaked out of nervousness. He held the socks tightly to his body, his nails biting into the fabric. Footsteps and then the door opened up. Dean appeared before him, like a revelation, bathed in warm light. “Cas?”, he stared in confusion, but as his eyes settled on the nervous Cas in front of him, his expression changed. Instead of confusion, utter affection settled. He looked at Cas as if he saw him for the first time. Sparks flying in a barn, like lighting hitting. A smile spread on his face, reaching from cheek to cheek. “Look at you,”, he breathed out in amazement. Cas wore a midnight blue suit. The material was also sheen, so that’s why Sam insisted on that suit. Dean’s eyes wandered over Cas, lingering on the expensive-looking, silver-ish tie and the subtle silver cufflinks. Cas, too, wore an embroidered vest beneath his jacket, just as Dean. He was sure Sam, Claire and Jack had left nothing to chance. Dean chuckled to himself. “When Jody or Claire finds out you’re here, Cas, you’re done.”, his eyes were warm and only now they noticed what Cas was holding. “What do you want with them?”, Dean asked, confused again. “I-”, Cas started, breathing in. “It has come to my attention that people get cold feet on their wedding day.”, he held the socks out to Dean, whose face brightened with realisation. “You brought me socks?”, Dean said emphasising each word. “Um, yes.”, Cas suddenly felt uncomfortable. Dean started laughing, his deep laugh, that rippled through his whole body. He bent forward, seeking support on his knees, tears in his eyes. “Did I do something silly?”, Cas asked, embarrassed. “No!”, Dean exhaled, trying to catch his breath. “No, love, you did not.”, he took the socks out of Cas’ hands and with his other hand he took Cas’ wrist, pulling him close. “I love you.”, Dean said quietly, their face inches apart. Relieve washed over Cas’ face. He never knew with humans. “Ok”, he breathed out. Then he kissed Dean, long and with his whole being. “I love you, too.” They stood in their embrace, foreheads touching, the socks squished between them. Dean couldn’t stop smiling. All his worry had ebbed away and there was only Cas. “Thank you.”, Dean whispered. “I don’t want you to catch a cold.”, Cas answered earnestly, and Dean’s smile grew wider. “Jeez, Cas. I don’t know how, but I love you even more than this morning. Now, come inside, or someone will see that you broke the holy law of two grooms not seeing each other before the ceremony. Which is as old as same-sex marriage in America.”, he laughed, shoulders vibrating. Cas knew he didn’t get the joke, he rarely did. But he loved to see Dean smile. Claire had told him that he wasn’t allowed to see Dean, but he just couldn’t help himself. He was so scared and worried, but just being next to Dean made him more at ease. Dean looked left and right, making sure no one was near and then closed the door. Cas sat down on the bed, bouncing on it a bit, trying not to crinkle his suit too much. “So”, Dean smiled like a lion, examine Cas, “What now?”. “What do you mean?”, Cas asked and tilted his head to the side, looking up at Dean with big innocent eyes. “Well, you shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t be here with you, but we are, and I think we should make that count, hm?”, he said slyly. The penny dropped and Cas caught Dean’s thought process. “Oh”, he just said, already feeling the heat in his stomach cumulating and making its way further down. “Oh”, Cas repeated. Dean walked to the bed, crouching down in front of Cas, not giving a rat’s ass if his suit would wrinkle or not. He took Cas’ face in both of his hands and kissed him, sucking on his lower lip, the feverish, hot fervour flowing through his veins. With a wet sound, they parted their lips. “I don’t know if we’re allowed”, Cas started, but Dean didn’t let him finish. He pressed their mouths together again, releasing a thousand butterflies in his stomach. “Who says we’re not allowed?”, Dean laughed. “Society? Tradition?”, he shrugged. “Since when did we do what we were told was right?”, a boyish grin graced Dean’s features. There was something magic about Dean when he smiled, Cas thought. You could forget everything around you, where you came from and what you were supposed to do. You would look at that smile and forget heaven and earth. Cas remembered when he first saw Dean smile. He was lost then, and he was lost now, but in this he found freedom. Dean leaned forward again and kissed him. “So, what do you think? Should we break all rules and make up new ones as we go?” Cas smiled at those words and pulled Dean on top off him. “I think we should do what we do best.” The bed was small and uncomfortable, so Dean pulled Cas upward and led him to the corner of the room where a small desk stood. “Trousers”, he just said as he went to close the blinds. Cas obliged, he took them off and folded them neatly over the chair that stood next to him. He didn’t want his new suit to wrinkle. Dean came back up to him and unbuckled his belt, letting his trousers fall down. He marvelled at Cas, half-naked and beautiful. _Fuck_ , a tiny voice in his head said. He was utterly fucked, this man – angel – made him weak in more than one sense of the word. It was madness. Dean pulled Cas closer, his fingers tracing along his sides and over the sheen fabric of his suit. “You might want to lose that, too.”, there it was again, the mischief in his eyes. Cas took off his jacket, not parting his eyes from him for a second. Dean ran his fingers over the embroidery on the vest. “Pretty.”, he said and winked at his fiancé. Cas rolled his eyes, but his body was hot from longing for Dean’s touch. He leaned forward, eager to feel Dean, but Dean jerked his head back. “Ah-ah, not so fast. We want to enjoy this last premarital fuck, don’t we?”, he teased, and Cas made an indignant sound. “Patience, young padawan.”, Dean said softly and started to kiss Cas’ neck. Cas was turned on, of course, but he was also worried because the clock was ticking, and he didn’t want anyone searching for them. “Dean, the time-”, he started but Dean hushed him. “Don’t worry, love. We have time.”, he murmured and stroked over Cas’ back, still kissing his neck gently. Cas gave in and closed his eyes. There was no point in fighting this. Dean’s lips on his skin were something he would never not appreciate. “Mmh”, Dean hummed approving of Cas’ surrender. He loosened Cas’ tie and unbuttoned some of the buttons of his shirt. Kissing slowly down his neck and toward his collarbone. “My sweet, angel”, he huffed against Cas’ skin. “My sweet, beautiful angel.” Cas moaned at the words; Dean knew how to please him. Then Dean cupped Cas’ cock, which was already half-hard, stretching against his underwear. “Dean,”, Cas moaned. “Yes, yes, soon”, Dean soothed him. He rubbed against Cas’, getting him harder, which in turn made him hotter by the second. The moans grew louder, and Dean muffled them with his mouth. They couldn’t be loud today, well not _now_. “Quiet my angel.”, he whispered and squeezed Cas’ dick a bit more, just to drive him nuts. “Assbutt”, Cas’ moaned, angered by the teasing. “Mmh, yes, I will tend to your butt soon, not a bad idea”, and Cas wanted to scream. When Dean was pleased with the state of Cas’ cock, he slowly got him off the desk and turned him around. Cas’ breathed in sharply, the agony of anticipation growling deep within. Dean bit into his neck when Cas’ back was turned to him, trying to keep it together. Jeez, this man was a sight to behold, trembling with lust and flustered all over. Dean could barely concentrate. Carefully he placed two fingers in the mouth of his soon-to-be husband and let him lick them slick. Dripping with saliva he took them out and started to rub them around in circles on Cas’ rim. Cas bent over the desk, his head coming down to rest on his arms as if he was praying. Dean almost laughed. His legs spread wider, wanting Dean to come closer, to get to it faster. Dean’s finger felt rough against his inside and Cas loved it. He felt the heat, the longing in his groins. It just felt too good. Cas moaned, quiet soft moans, pressing himself onto Dean’s fingers, wanting them to fill him and go deeper. But there was only so far those fingers could go, and Cas wanted more, he needed more. “Dean”, he started with a pleading tone and Dean needed all of his strength not to give in. He knew it would be more satisfying for both of them if he drew it out a little longer. Cas moved in wavelike motions now, getting more heated by the second. Although Dean couldn’t see his face, he knew how Cas looked during sex. His face was a grimace of lust and impatience. His other hand, rested on Cas’ hip, keeping him steady. _Dear lord_ , Dean thought as he felt the tremor in Cas’ body, this one had no self-control. Not that he was complaining, it was kinda a turn-on for him. Dean took his hand away and wrapped it around his own cock to get it harder. He had no lube and he hoped that getting it slick with Cas’ spit would be enough. Still fingering Cas, he put the fingers of his free hand in Cas’ mouth. Cas let his tongue dance around and in between his fingers, while still rolling his hips. After Dean worked him long enough, he pulled out. Fast he slicked his cock with Cas’ spit and put both of his hands on Cas’ hip, steadying him. The head of his cock probed against Cas. “Easy,”, he mumbled, trying to relax Cas. When he finally pushed forward, Cas couldn’t suppress a long and loud groan. Dean let him, concentrating only on the feeling of Cas around him. _Jesus_ , he thought and let his tongue clack. They were almost married, it shot through his head and he thrust into Cas. _Fuck_ , he thought, this was his life and he was living it, what a lucky bastard he was. Cas and Dean moved in perfect unison. Rolling and ebbing with the moans and the groans of the other. Dean felt hot and unable to form another thought, he just kept thrusting into Cas. He felt whole. He never felt that way and he never had that with anyone else. But in the end, Cas had been with him through everything, through the good and the bad and the ugly. They have known each other for what? Twelve years? They saw the best and the worst of each other and they still stuck _together_. Dean knew Cas like nobody else, and Cas knew Dean like nobody else and their bodies just knew each other without even so much as a practice run. When Dean fucked Cas it was more than that. It was more than a physical sensation, more than getting off. He felt so close to Cas. Moving with him, breathing into him, feeling Cas wrapped around him. _Fuck_ , he thought. _Fuck_.

Cas could barely breathe, though he tried to keep his breath steady to not get dizzy. Dean filled him and it felt like everything fell into place. Like everything made sense and the world stopped being so chaotic. It was just him and Dean, moving, panting, sweating. Cas felt so raw and open, in a literal and metaphorical sense. With every trust, Dean brought him closer to the edge, and Cas sensed he wasn’t lasting for much longer. Longing to come, he bit into his arm. Dean was the only thought in his head. Dean, beautiful, perfect Dean. His Dean. Cas pressed his eyes shut. _Shit_ , he thought. He heard Dean grunting behind him as he sped up his pace. Then he felt Dean’s body press onto him, kissing the back of his neck and head. “I love you..”, he panted into Cas’ ear, “..so much.” Cas groaned. Usually, Dean would say the nastiest things and he was used to that. But when he said stuff like that, Cas just was undone. _Shit_. Dean sucked on the nook of Cas’ shoulder, thrusting harder into him. “Oh baby”, he groaned. “Fuck, I’m coming, love.” Cas moaned and touched himself. Dean who had noticed the shift in Cas’ posture, murmured: “Good.” Dean’s arm muscles twitched as he held Cas in place, this one was messy and if Dean didn’t set the pace or hold him tight, he would move all over the place. Fuck, Dean was so hot for him, it wasn’t even fair. “Slower, Dean. Please. Make it last.”, Cas suddenly interrupted. Usually, Cas wanted it faster and harder, to come quickly and messy and to feel Dean’s weight on him afterwards, grounding him. “Ok”, Dean tried to slow down, but it was hard to not fuck Cas’ brain out right now. “Slow”, Cas pleaded again. He wanted to enjoy his boyfriend as a boyfriend for the last time, and tonight he could have him as his husband. Tonight, and forever. Cas panted this one word in his mind, _husband_. It made him giddy. Dean thrust slowly into him, his hands digging into Cas’ hip, fingers pressing into his flesh. Cas stroked himself as Dean pushed into him further. Muffled noises, when they both came. Dean pulled out and turned Cas around. Kissing him, long and longingly. “Good?”, he asked. Cas nodded against his lips. Breathing shakily. “Good.”, Dean smiled, pulling him closer, bringing his nose to Cas’ neck. “Good.”.

Cas cleaned up and he and Dean laid on the bed, spooning. Dean played with Cas’ fingers, holding them into the sunlight. His nose in Cas’ hair, breathing in slowly. Jeez, Cas smelled good. Especially after sex. He still wondered how he deserved to be this happy. He nuzzled his face closer to his fiancé. This was simply perfection. Cas’ eyes were closed, he listened to Dean’s breath, feeling his chest move up and down. “We could just stay here.”, Cas whispered. “Forever. Just lie like this.” “Mmh.”, Dean hummed. “Bed is a bit small.” Cas chuckled. “And I would rather not have Jody on my bad side. She put her all in this. She and Donna and Claire and Jack.”, his voice was warm and soft. Cas leaned back into Dean. “You’re right.” Dean perked up. “Well, that’s a first.”, he laughed. “You have your moments.”, Cas admitted both giggling.

Dean propped himself up on his arm and kissed Cas on the cheek. “We should get dressed and you should go back to your room. Before someone notices and we get shot or somethin’.” Dean said Cas shuddered. Claire would do that; he was sure of it. “Just a moment longer.”, Cas asked and held Dean’s arm in place. “No”, Dean answered. “Up. Now.” Cas let out a noise. “No, no complaining, we are getting married in like”, he checked his phone that lay beside them, “15 minutes. _Jesus fucking Christ_.”, Dean jerked up in shock when he looked at the time. Cas’ stomach dropped. “What?”, he yelped. “Shit, shit, shit!”, Dean pulled up his trousers and threw Cas’ pair on the bed. With trembling hands, Cas got dressed. “Dean,”, Cas said wearily. “It's ok”, nobody came in screaming. We’re still ok.” Cas nodded and straightened his tie, Dean saw how askew it still was and walked up to him, putting it in place. This one was a mess. He patted Cas’ breast pocket, with the light pink flower in it. He paused for a second, marvelling at Cas. “You look perfect, babe.”, he said. They shared a kiss and Dean put his arms around Cas. “See you in a bit.”, Dean sad beaming at him. “Yes.”, Castiel said, shyly smiling, cheeks flushed, and hair tousled. How madly he loved him, it was almost unbearable. And through the door, he went. 

**Two months earlier.**

If Sam and Jack had noticed their behaviour, they didn’t mention it to them. These days, Cas would just come up behind Dean, putting his arms around him, as if it was the most natural thing. They shared looks and nights together. Dean felt like a teenager again. The kissing till you couldn’t breathe, the flushed cheeks, the panting and sweating and lingering thoughts. Dean felt alive, for the first time in a while. When he and Cas were together now, it was like before and vastly different at the same time. Dean’s jokes were the same and so was Cas rolling his eyes at him, but the kiss that would follow was nothing like before. Sitting on the couch, fingers entangled, watching TV together, as if nothing had happened, when so much had changed. Sam smiled at them sometimes, quietly to himself. Jack was glad their dads were finally happy. They had talked to Cas, after the whole ordeal with The Empty. Cas had told Jack parts of what had happened, and Jack didn’t pry. As long as everyone was happy and content, they were happy and content. No questioned asked. Only a tiny thorn bit in their heart. Dean didn’t really talk to them anymore. He didn’t even look at them most of the time. Jack wished they could just talk to Dean, make him understand that they loved him. That it was okay and that the past was the past. They just wanted to be around him like the others. But Dean avoided Jack, thoroughly. Cas had talked to him, Jack knew that. Cas said Dean needed time and that he was sorry. Hurt by his own actions and unable to process them. Jack stood in the living room. Scooby-Doo was on and Dean had nestled himself into Cas’ arm, half asleep. They didn’t want to interrupt them, but it looked so cosy and domestic. _Like a real family_ , Jack thought. “Can… can I sit?”, they asked hesitantly. Cas smiled bright lights in his eyes. “Yes, please.”, he looked at his kid, his heart full. Dean grunted in agreement and Jack couldn’t suppress a relieved smile. Together, they sat and watched the cartoon dog eat sandwiches twice his size and unravel mysteries. _Like we do_ , Jack thought cheerful. Every now and then Jack glanced at Dean, whose eyes were still open, be it just a smidge. Jack felt Dean look at them, too. Eyes fixed on their neck. Cas got up at some point, to get some beer and Dean propped himself up, rubbing over his eyes. It was only half-past nine, but Cas was just so damn comfortable. “You okay, kid?”, he asked Jack suddenly. “Um, yes.”, Jack brought out clumsily, they didn’t expect to be addressed. Especially since they were alone. “Good, good.”, Dean muttered, clearly uneasy. “Listen, kid.”, he said, eyes searching the floor for a spot to rest on, he didn’t dare to look up. “I know I’ve been distant… lately.”, he sighed, and Jack’s shoulders tightened. “And Cas said- well … I wanted to let you know that…”, Dean sputtered, rubbing the back of his head. Damn, why was this so hard? He breathed in deeply. _Ok, trying again_. “What I am trying to say is: I am sorry for what I did. I know I said that already. But I can’t – I don’t know how to go on from here with you. I don’t know how to ever make up for what I did. And Cas, well, Cas said I can only make up for it by being- well, um… by trying to be as good as a parent, as I can be. And I want to. I hope you know, I want to be good to you and that- you know, that you.. I mean, I feel like you are my kid. Not just any kid, my kid.”, Dean paused, he blinked rapidly, trying to stay focused and speak from the heart. Jack didn’t know what to say, their heart was jumping, and a warm feeling spread through their veins. “I am sorry, Jack. I want you in this family. You are my family, part of my family and if I gave you the feeling… that you didn’t belong… I am sorry for that. I hope you know that. And I will try harder. I promise.”, Dean looked up, wearily. Testing the water. Tears formed in his eyes. “Thank you”, Jack took everything in, felt the warm feeling in their stomach and the thorn in their heart shrank. “Thank you, Dean.”, Jack didn’t know what else to say. Dean got up and came up to him, ruffling their hair. “You’re a good kid, Jack.” Jack looked up to him, gleaming with joy. “So, I’m gonna look for Cas now. Make sure he didn’t lock himself in the freezer.” Dean knew Cas had left to give him space, somehow feeling that Dean had finally built up the courage to talk to Jack. 

Slowly, their little family felt whole again. Even better, it had grown. Eileen had practically moved in, even though she also kept her flat to stay a bit more independent. But Sam loved that about her, she was unapologetically herself. On weekends they often left and travelled to some bed and breakfasts around the country. Or they went hunting together. Jack loved Eileen, they would talk for hours sometimes and Jack cherished every second of that. Although Bobby only drove by on occasion, checking in with them and cracking some beers, he would call them every week. Claire and Kaia visited often, too. Sometimes they would drag Jody and Donna with them, who were usually busy with hunting and renovating their new home. Donna had moved in a couple of months ago and everyone was waiting for a proposal soon. Claire and Jack would spend their time looking up venues and writing down ideas, giddy as children. The terrors of the past started to heal, and one by one they felt more at ease and began to trust that this was life from now on. Merry days and joyful nights. Game night, once a month and a huge dinner on holidays were all of them, would gather, even Charlie and her girlfriend. After all these years of sorrow and grief, of questioning, if they deserved a life that knew no pain, they finally arrived at the conclusion: life could be good, no catch, no strings attached. Just a normal, happy life. Well, as normal as a life of hunting monsters could be. But they made it work.

It was a cold February day when Dean knocked on Jack’s door. They were currently catching up on a series Kaia had told them about, a weird – probably criminal – guy raising big cats and getting into a lot of trouble. “Yes?”, Jack answered the door and Dean went in. “Heeey”, he said stretching the word in a suspicious way. Jack knew the inflictions of Dean’s speech pattern. Something was up. “Hey.”, Jack raised an eyebrow. “What are you doin’?”, Dean implored, clearly distracted from whatever was on his mind. “Nothing much. This guy is killing wildlife and apparently wanted to kill this woman, but also he says he is innocent. But then his boyfriend killed himself, but maybe that wasn’t on purpose.”, Jack went on and Dean, completely lost, just nodded along. He had no idea what this kid was on about. Sounded intriguing though, somehow. He would ask them about this later. “Okay. Well listen, I have a favour to ask.”, Jack sat up straight, pausing their laptop and focusing on Dean. “Sure, what is it?”, they said with a smile. Dean’s heart melted right that second, this kid was just pure kindness. It was almost too much to bear. How did he deserve a child like that? “Um, so I wondered if you could take Cas on a huntin’ trip? Not for long. It doesn’t even have to be a real case. Just occupy him for a day or two?”, Dean rambled, his eyes wandering around restlessly. “Yeah, sure.”, Jack reassured him, but their interest was piqued. “What’s the occasion?” “Nothin’, nothin’…”, Dean swayed his arms around, trying to act innocent. Jack wasn’t convinced. “Sure?”, they didn’t want to press him, but clearly something was going on, and there was a natural curiosity spurring them on. Dean shifted from one foot to the other. He seemed torn between wanting to confide in Jack and not finding the right words to do so. “Well, its nothing really. I just need some time to figure some stuff out.”, he deflected. Concern rose in Jack’s chest. Like an alarm that rang in the morning, ripping you from peaceful slumber. “Is everything ok?”, they asked, voice low. Sadness seeped into their eyes. Dean immediately regretted his choice of words. “No! I mean yes, everything is great. I just need a day off.”, the line on Jack’s forehead deepened. “Did something happen?”, their heart clenched in fear, like a cold hand closing around it. Everything seemed so easy lately, almost too easy. Of course, there had to be a catch, of course, something would happen and take it away from them. “No, Jack. Everything is great! Really.”, Dean gestured widely, but the damage had been done already. “If I can do anything, Dean, please tell me.”, franticly Jack searched their memory for any hint or moment that could have had to do with this, but they couldn’t think of anything. Dinners had been more lively than usual; Dean had seemed even more in love with Castiel than ever. Even Sam had said so. What was it then? What had happened? “Jack,”, Dean tried to get a word in between Jack’s rambling, but there was no chance. “Did you have a fight?”, Jack asked, already creating scenarios in their head. “No, Jack, listen.” “I know it had been hard, but I thought it was all better now.” “Jack!”, Dean stepped forward grabbing them by the shoulders. “Stop. Listen”, he breathed in shakily. “Nothing happened, I don’t want to have a ‘break’ from Cas.”, he almost chuckled at the thought. He couldn’t imagine ever wanting a break from Cas. “I need some time to get a ring. And I want it to be a surprise, but Cas is always around and-”, Dean started to explain but Jack suddenly leapt forward and threw their arms around him. Caught off-guard, Dean froze midsentence. A small smiled washed over his face, and his eyes softened. Slowly he raised his arms and hugged them back. “It’s ok, no one is leaving, Jack.”, he said quietly, holding them tightly. _Jeez_. Jack’s heart was racing, for a moment their walls had been crumbling down. Relieved ebbed through their body. “Ok…”, they managed to say. “Good, so can you do that for me?”, Dean asked, suppressing the glee that Jack’s outburst had caused. His voice was low and warm. Jack nodded, then they looked up. “Um, what if I ask Claire to go hunting with Castiel…”, their voice drifted off, “and maybe we could go together?” They sounded hesitant, testing the water. Dean, taken by surprise, stood motionless for a minute, trying to put his head together. It was new to him, not being questioned, just unconditional support. He had thought about asking Sammy, but he was busy most of the time and he had figured he might just go and look for a ring on his own. “If you like to… I would… I mean yes, that would be great.”, his voice faltered, overcome with emotion. “That would be great, I would love that, Jack.” Jack smiled, that innocent and earnest smile, that could melt hearts. “I’ll call Claire.”, they said, encouragingly. “Give me a sec.”

Shopping for a ring turned out far more complicated than Dean had anticipated. Claire and Cas had left for the case after Cas moped about Dean refusing to come with them. _Why wouldn’t you come with us? It’d be nice for Claire to spend time with both of us._ Dean had to throw him off the scent pretending to teach Jack how to repair the car and Cas had given up, pleased that Dean wanted to spend time with Jack, but still visibly soured. They must have been to at least nine different jewellery shops. Hours went by and Dean grew frustrated. Why was this so fricking hard? “It's pointless.”, he exclaimed, rubbing his hand over his mouth. Jack put a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. “We can try out one last one and if nothing stands out to us, we just try another time.”, a supportive smile on their face. Dean felt helpless, if he couldn’t even find a stupid ring, how was he supposed to be ready for marriage? “Yeah, let’s go?”, Dean sighed, resignation settling in. They walked up the main street. It was crowded and bright. Dean hated it. Jack pulled him in an alleyway, they knew there had been an antique store nearby. In one of their online searches, Claire and them had written down the address a couple of weeks ago. “This way”, they exclaimed confidently. _Please let this one be it_ , Jack thought, feeling the desperation radiating from Dean. Dean just followed them like a beaten puppy, head down, dragging his feet. With a high-pitched noise, a little doorbell rang, announcing their entrance. The store was crammed with shelves and other furniture. Lamps, curtains, porcelain figures standing around. No space was unused, everywhere one’s eyes fell there was something to inspect. Dean was almost overwhelmed, turning his head left and right, trying to navigate in this ocean of curiosity. But Jack took his hand and lead them straight to a tiny, wooden cabinet. The insides of the cabinet sparkled invitingly, jewellery of various eras presented, polished and tidy. Jack looked expectantly to Dean, who couldn’t take his eyes of the treasures. _This is it_ , he thought, his fingers reaching out and touching the glass with his tips. He could feel it. “Can I help you?”, a voice pierced through the air, friendly but determined. A young woman showed up beside them, a radiant smile on her lips. Dean didn’t respond, enchanted by the rings on display. “We are looking for a ring.”, Jack explained, gesturing to Dean. “Ah, special occasion?”, the woman asked, looking at Dean, who was still eying the rings thoroughly. “Um, yeah”, Dean finally looked up. “I’m looking for an engagement ring. Um.”, his voice was shaky, and the woman cut him off with a smile. “Very well. This is a good selection for that. We have a lot of different styles. Artdeco, Art nouveau – or Jugenstil if you will – Victorian. Beautiful pieces, really.”, skilfully she took out the rings and put them on the counter next to them. With a clank, the stand landed on the glass. “So, what did you have in mind?”, she turned to Dean, who looked utterly helpless. He didn’t know. He had looked at so many rings online. Shapes and stones and their meanings and he was feeling so lost. How should he know? “I-”, he began but stopped again. Maybe it was the look in his eyes. Maybe it was her intuition, but the lady smiled at him with warm eyes and said. “What do they like? Gold, silver?”, Dean shrugged, clueless. He felt dumb, why didn’t he know? “Don’t worry, we will find something. There are treasures in here, believe me.”, she reassured him. Dean felt the tension ease a bit. The auburn hair of the woman fell over her shoulder as she took the rings off the stander, one by one and laid them out on the counter. “There a few things we can do.”, she perked up, a twinkle in her eye. “First, you could think of what jewellery they usually wear? Anything that comes to mind, a ring, a necklace, earrings, anything. And if they are not keen on jewellery in general, maybe there is something they mentioned? Something they said looked beautiful.”, Dean stared at her blankly. “And if both of that is not an option, we have one last approach.”, she carried on, reading Dean’s expression correctly, “My favourite one”, she winked at them wittily. “Sometimes, it helps if you close your eyes and think of the person the ring is for. Think about them and what makes you love them. And then, when you open your eyes, see if one of those reminds you of them. It doesn’t have to make sense. Sometimes it’s a small thing, a single stone or how the light reflects from the band.”, she titled her head, putting down the last ring on a velvet square. “Give it a try.”, she gestured to towards the rings. Dean, feeling very self-aware, glanced at Jack and then closed his eyes. “What’s their name?”, the woman asked. “Cas... um Castiel.”, Dean said guarded, this felt strange. “Castiel, that’s a beautiful name.”, she answered. “Wanna tell me about them? What do they like? Are they a morning person?” By the thought of Cas, Dean’s heart jumped a little, even after all these years. “Eh, he doesn’t sleep much. I’m grumpy in the morning and he knows that. But he doesn’t complain, he tries to be mindful.”, Dean smiled to himself. “Cas… he’s special. Sometimes he will act like a child and be so giddy about the stupidest things. But you can rely on him. It’s like I’ve known him for forever and I still learn new things about him every day. He’s… he’s just special. He knows me as nobody else does. He understands, even if I don’t understand…”, Dean trailed off. It felt weird to say these things out loud, especially to a stranger. “He sounds lovely.”, the woman said quietly. Dean nodded; eyes still closed. And behind his eyelids, he saw tousled black hair and piercing blue eyes. “He is.”, he murmured softly. Blinking against the light, he opened his eyes. Jack looked at him, a grin on their face. Finally, his eyes fell on the counter. Calmly searching, wandering over the rings, which were laid out neatly in front of him. Carefully he took a step forward, eyes fixed. On the right, a golden ring had caught his eyes. A thin band, and in the middle many tiny square stones that were spiralling into an oval shape, with a bigger stone set in the middle. Like rays of sunlight, the little stones reached out. The closer he looked the more the sun looked like an eye, but it wasn’t a freighting sight. No, it was beautiful and grounding. He lifted it up with light fingertips. Rolling it between his fingers, stroking over the ripple of the stones, which reflected the light from above. Dean didn’t say a word. “That’s a beauty.”, he heard the woman say. He nodded. “How much?” “369 Dollars.” “I’ll take it.”, Dean’s voice was but a whisper. “Grant.”, was the reply. “May I?”, she held out her hand, and slowly – almost reluctantly – Dean put the ring into her palm. They left the shop, Jack beaming with joy and Dean smiled, his fingers curled around the little box in his pocket. His knees were a bit shaky as the realisation hit: this was getting real. Not a thought in the back of his mind, not a feeling when he sat with Cas on the couch, two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together. He was so madly in love with Cas, it almost brought him down to his knees. Well, on one knee anyway.


	3. Deeply

12 mins to go.

Cas was lucky that he made it back into his room without anyone noticing. Searching for the little note he had written his vows on, he jerked up as a sharp knock on his door echoed through his room. Without waiting for an answer, Claire waltzed in. “Why are you still in here? Do you want to be too late to your own wedding so bad?”, she walked up to him, a stern look on her face. Cas flinched at her words, she was right. The guests were probably already seated, music playing and everyone waiting for them to go down the aisle. “Is Dean-”, Cas wanted to ask, but Claire cut him off: “Sam dragged his ass already to the entrance.” “Good.”, he answered, searching her eyes for signs if they knew what they had been up to. “Got your vows?”, she asked impatiently, tapping her foot on the wooden floor. But as he nodded hesitantly and held up a tiny piece of paper, her eyes grew warmer. “Nervous?”, her hand squeezed his arm lightly. “Yes.”, Cas admitted, his cheeks blushing. “I guess that’s normal.”, a small smiled tucked at the corner of her mouth and the dark eyeliner under her eyes stretched as the smile reached her eyes. “I am very happy for you. Both of you.”, her voice got a bit shaky and she cleared her throat in an attempt to cover the emotions rising up. “And if you ask me, I don’t think you have to be nervous. I think that this is the only right decision you two ever made in your whole life. Ever.”, she laughed, and it calmed Cas’ breath. “That’s a lot of life you’re talking about.”, he raised his eyebrows, but she just rolled her eyes. “I _know_.”, she said pointedly and tucked at his sleeve. “Now, _wedding_.” They left and Claire linked her arm with his, she could feel him trembling. “Don’t worry, dad. You’ll be fine.”

  
One month, three weeks and four days earlier.

All was still in the bunker early in the mornings. Jack tried to be extra quiet when they got up entertaining themselves while the others were still asleep. Sometimes they would dabble in cooking breakfast and prepared massive amounts of food, especially when Claire and Kaya were around. Cas joined them occasionally, but most of the time, he would stay in bed with Dean, holding him in his arms until he woke up. It was calming, listening to Dean’s breath. After millions of years, this was his deserved break. A break from everything. From all of earth, from the whole universe even. When Dean was next to him, his head on Cas’ chest, breathing slowly, Castiel forgot about it all. He could finally _rest_. These were his favourite mornings when everything was quiet and slow. When the bunker was peaceful, and he could just be. Castiel had no hurry to experience life to its fullest, to see the world with Dean, to go hiking or to the movies, or whatever humans did for fun. Not that he wasn’t keen on his new life, not at all. He wanted to do all these things, but when he was alone with Dean was when he felt true bliss. This was enough. Both of them in bed, flushed together, Dean’s head resting on him, and his arm around his body. Cas loved looking at Dean while he slept. Loved knowing the fact that Dean felt safe and secure in his arms. Loved that those tired green eyes found remedy beside him. Dean slept through the night, most of the time now. Not always, admittingly. Sometimes he would wake in the middle of the night and call out Cas’ name. Sometimes he wouldn’t wake and still call his name, agitated and Cas would hold him till he was still again, till the nightmares were over. Cause that was all they were now, nightmares. Ghosts of the past, that could haunt them, but not hurt them anymore. Dean moved slightly, pushing his nose deeper into Cas’ cotton shirt, mumbling something indistinguishable. Out of instinct, Cas pulled him closer. Lazily Dean threw his arm around Cas, snuggling closer to his angel, his face flushed against Cas’ chest. Worrying, Cas asked himself if he got enough air like this, but Dean tended to just bury his face in his shirts and seemed to breathe just fine, so he didn’t complain. How could he? Slowly waking up, Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, stretching his muscles. “Good morning”, Cas smiled softly at him, bowing down his head to kiss Dean’s head, nuzzling his nose in Dean’s hair. He smelled of sleep and serenity. “Morning, sunshine”, came the answer, Dean’s voice still gravely. Cas kissed his head again, dragging his lips over the crown of Dean’s head. Feeling Dean smile against the cotton, unwilling to get up. “What time is it?”, Dean asked, shaking his head to clear his head. “9 a.m.”, Cas glanced at the little timer on their bedstand. With a groan, Dean let his head sink deeper into Cas’ body, “Too early.” “I think Sam and Eileen are already back from their morning run.”, Castiel laughed, smoothing over Dean’s back. He was beautiful, every inch of him. “Because they’re lunatics.”, he muttered grumpily. “Come on, let’s get some coffee.”, he offered and tucked at Dean’s shirt. “Yeah,”, Dean finally propped himself up on both arms, now being face to face with his boyfriend. A smile washed over his face, he still couldn’t stop himself from grinning like a fool when he looked at Cas, into those blue eyes that were all his. “Good morning, love”, he said again, a cheeky tone in his voice as he leaned forwards and kissed him, mouths dry. He moved closer, reaching up with one hand and cupping Cas’ face. He kissed him until he was out of breath, licked the inside of his mouth and over his lips, hot air between them. “Good morning”, Cas replied, mirroring Dean’s grin. “Coffee?”, he asked again, and Dean nodded, leaning in one last time before they got up.

Castiel had been right, Sam and Eileen were back from their run and already on breakfast duty, Jack sitting at the counter, talking restlessly about some new show they had started. “You see, she just didn’t want them to get hurt, that’s why she insisted on being there. But Adora and Bow just thought she wanted to take the lead of the mission, which was – well maybe part of it – but that’s not the point. I get why they were mad, though.”, Jack was explaining while simultaneously signing the words to Eileen, who looked at them, admiration in her eyes. _I see why_ she signed back. Dean thought it was great that Jack learned how to use silent language. The talking paired with the hand movement seemed to tire them out sometimes, which with Jack’s endless enthusiasm was a good thing, especially for Dean, especially in the morning. “Good morning”, Jack greeted them loudly when they saw Cas and Dean come in. Dean just nodded, making a beeline to the coffee pot. “Morning Jack.”, Cas smiled and patted their shoulder on his way to Dean and the coffee. “Morning,”, Sam shouted, busy with the pans in his hand. The morning went by slowly, all of them around the counter, too lazy to move into the living area. Jack excused themselves saying they had a phone-date with Kaya at some point and Sam and Eileen suddenly looked expectantly at Dean and Cas. Instantly suspicion grew in Dean. “What?”, he looked tentatively at Sam. “What what?”, Sam smiled, playing innocent. “I know these… _looks_. Something is up with you guys.”, he said eyes squinting at them both. Cas, as unaware as ever, just looked innocently at the three of them. “ You pregnant?”, Dean just blatantly asked, turning to Eileen, since it was the only thing that came to mind. Sam almost spit out his coffee and Eileen laughed at his reaction. “NO!”, Sam blurted out and Eileen shook her head, still grinning. “Then what?”, Dean laughed. “We”, Sam composed himself, “We were just wondering if you guys might want to join us on our trip on the weekend. There is this hiking spot in Vermont and a new Bed’n’Breakfast opened up, which offers these packages…”, he started to explain, but Dean interrupted him, shaking his head. “Nope”, he said resolutely. “Dean you didn’t even let me-”, Sam got worked up, but Dean wouldn’t let him explain. “No, I know what this is. You two saw some sort of offer somewhere and now you try to make us come with you to share the price.” Sam looked angry, but before he could say anything, Castiel gently touched Dean’s arm and looked at him with those giant blue eyes. “That does sound fun, though.”, he said shyly. Dean stared at him, incredulously. “You are joking? Right?!”, he yelped. With a smile creeping back on his face, Sam leaned back looking triumphantly at the pair. It was over for Dean. “Well, no. I mean, we are here most of the time, and I know the town now by heart and maybe a change of scenery wouldn’t be so bad.”, Cas shrugged, his hand still on Dean’s arm. Eileen watched them with warm eyes. “It’s just one weekend, Dean.”, Sam said, and Dean threw him a soured look. _It will be fun!_ , Eileen signed confidently. Dean groaned. He couldn’t say no to either of these two. Resignation settling in, he closed his eyes. “Ok, fine.” Cas shot Eileen a smile and winked at her, approvingly she nodded back. “Vermont?”, Dean turned to Cas again, “Are you sure? Do we want to be _that_ kind of gay?”, Cas who didn’t understand what Dean was referring to, just looked at him blankly. “What kind of gay?”, he asked sincerely, but Dean just shook his head. “The next thing I know we go antique shopping for lamps or some crap.” “Oh, that sounds nice.”, Cas eyes lit up and Dean couldn’t help but melt at the sight. Cas looked so excited and a tiny part of him warmed up to the idea of going. Another thought formed in his mind. This could be the right spot, after all. In a cute town, surrounded by trees and nice houses. He could ask Cas then. His stomach fluttered. “Jesus”, he said, not allowing himself to show the excitement that grew by the second now. Maybe he could make Cas wear something else but the suit. He could get him one of these knitted sweaters since Cas was complaining about getting cold sometimes, these days. They still hadn’t figured out what was up with his powers. They seemed to weaken and strengthen like the tides came and go. Cas said not to worry about it, and Dean tried not to. At some point, they had made Jack check Cas, search within him with their powers, but it had been futile. Jack didn’t know what was causing the issue but said they couldn’t sense anything wrong with Cas, either. One time, Cas had joked, that maybe he was like Arwen, becoming human now that he had given his heart to a mortal man. It was after Dean had made Cas watch all of _The Lord of the Rings_ (the extended version of course), and he had blushed at that statement. When Cas had looked at him, a smile in his eyes and said those words, Dean fell in love with him even more. “We should get you something to wear then.”, Dean concluded. “Can’t go hiking in a suit.” So, it was decided, they would go, and Dean took Cas shopping that day. If he had to stay in a B’n’B he would at least get something out of it. And if that something was seeing his boyfriend try on oversized sweaters for an afternoon, he would gladly take it.

It was a two-day drive since Dean refused to fall into old patterns of sleeping in the car on a trip when sleeping next to Cas was an option. They stopped in Chicago at a cheap motel and checked in for the night. After dinner, Sam and Eileen hurried back to their room, but Dean didn’t feel like lying in bed just now. “Wanna take a walk?”, he suggested, and Cas took his hand, smiling. “Sure.” Strolling casually, hand in hand, they made their way to the river. Only a few people were still shuffling along the street, keeping their collars up and shoulders up to their ears. Chicago was as cold as Dean imagined it to be this time of year and he was glad that they bought the jackets and sweaters. Cas’ nose already took a pink shade and Dean stopped to adjust his scarf. “You really have to start taking better care of yourself, Cas.”, he grovelled, eyes narrowing while stuffing the scarf into Cas’ jacket. “And that comes from you.”, Cas rolled his eyes. Dean only glanced up at him for a second, shooting him a disapproving look. “Shut up.” “I’m not even cold, Dean.”, Cas insisted, but Dean didn’t care for it much. “I have eyes and you have a droopy nose. And I still remember how you handled human conditions before. I’m not taking any risks”, he zipped up Cas’ jacket higher, not seeing how Cas’ expression changed from being annoyed to affectionate. “Good.”, he said pleased, patting the now secure coat. Wanting to walk on he took Cas’ hand, but the angel pulled him around again. Instead of saying something, Cas kissed him, deeply. Trying to let his body speak for him. Dean leaned in, licking over Cas’ lips, they were chapped and hot and perfect. His hands dug deep into the other’s hips, squeezing with numb fingers into soft fabric. Breathing heavily, Dean pulled away. His hands reaching up behind Cas’ back, looking at him, searching his eyes. “I love, you.”, his voice was but a whisper, hoarse and honest. “I love you, so goddamn much, Cas.”, Dean pulled him closer, they’re bodies flushed against each other, the sun setting behind them, the last pink rays reaching out over the water. The night sky was already above them. “I love you, too, Dean.”, Cas was blushing all over now, his eyes flashing over Dean’s face. “No, I mean it. I cannot explain to you how much I love you, I just-”; his heart was sinking into his stomach. This felt like the right moment. The night sky was beautiful, and he felt like he was never more in love with Cas. Suddenly, the little box in his chest pocket felt too heavy. “I wish I could show you how much, I love you.”, he went on. “You don’t have to, Dean.”, Cas was beaming, and his smile threw Dean off. He laughed nervously, trying to collect his thoughts. Throbbing violently against his rib cage, his heart felt like it wanted to escape his body. Light reflected in blue, magical eyes, like stars on the night sky, contained on two small pools of wonder. “I-”, he tried to start over, but Cas tucked at his hand. “Let’s move, I’m actually getting cold now.”, he laughed and dragged Dean along the riverside, who helplessly followed suit. “Sure”, he said, eyes still wide from the adrenaline that was pumping through his veins. His heart was racing, knowing what he was about to have said. But the moment was past. In high spirits, Cas was leading the way, passers-by looking at the pair with contempt, who was this happy and giddy in this goddamn cold, seriously? Cas had never truly been aware on his trips, he never looked at the places, never soaked in the scenery. Things had changed now. He wanted to take it all in, he wanted to _see_ , really see, and feel the world around him. Dean saw the marvel in his face, saw the childlike excitement and he couldn’t waste another thought on anything but that beautiful and incredible man in front of him, pulling him along, eager to see the world. Fine lines formed at his eyes as an askew smirk graced his face. This messy angel was quite something. Almost radiating happiness, Cas turned to him. “Good thing we bought these.”, he jerked at his new parker, rubbing the soft green fabric between his fingers. “Yeah, I know.”, Dean winked, acting grand. “I think I never saw you in anything like it.”, Cas continued, drawing the words long and mustering Dean’s new navy-blue duffle coat, thick wool with a hood and a soft inlet. Dean squinted at him. “Don’t need stuff like that in Kansas.”, he replied. “And since you brought it up, you are the one who has exactly five pieces in his wardrobe.”, Dean raised an eyebrow and Cas rolled his eyes at him again. “Do I have to remind you that that isn’t true? Not anymore.”, he intertwined his fingers with Dean’s more tightly. Dean grinned. “Should’ve bought you a hat, now that I see the state of your ears, honeybee.”, Cas made an exasperated noise at the pet name, which made Dean laugh even harder. “I just wanted to compliment you, Dean.”, he said sullied, “But you make that abundantly hard.” “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart.”, Dean hauled Cas in, putting his arm around his waist as they walked next to the glistening river. Leaves rustling softly in the wind. “So, go on then.”, Dean prompted. “No.”, Cas said, expression somewhere between smiling and sulking. “I’m sorry, I promise not to say a word.”, Dean tried to make googly eyes with mixed results. “I just thought you looked very handsome in the new coat. It suits you. That’s all.”, Cas sighed, but pressed his body closer to Dean. “Thank you.”, Dean’s voice was low and warm and if he weren’t so fricking cold, he would’ve kissed Cas again. Dark blue night sky had made its way all over the horizon, draining out the last lights of the sun and the pink and orange clouds were now a greyish purple. The river glistened from the streetlights and the moon that spilled its ghostly light through the openings in the trees and the buildings around them. Hushed voices floated through the air, coming from the few people still outside. They walked in silence for a bit. A silence that comforted them both. Dean was still in thoughts about the question he had wanted to ask Cas, wanted to ask for quite a while now. Cas looked out into the world, blissful and happy. It seemed that everything he experienced with Dean was special. Even the most mundane things. Even their little fights. Unconsciously, he squeezed Dean’s hand a bit tighter. The other, noticing the tiny movement, looked at him. “What are you thinking?”, Dean asked gingerly. “Mmh, not much. Just that it’s nice to walk here with you.” Dean couldn’t suppress a smile. “Yea, I think so too.”, he squeezed Cas’ hand back. Laughing and shaking his head, Cas closed his eyes. “Isn’t it crazy? I mean… who would’ve thought that we would ever...”, he stopped midsentence, apparently unable to word his thoughts or feelings. Dean nodded, he understood. “Me neither.”, he answered the question that hovered between them. “But I am glad, that we did.”, he continued, his voice raspy and full of love. “Me, too.”, Cas agreed. They had been strong; they had been honest, and this was their reward. Their time together spent in touches and glances and smiles. Time spent in the knowledge that they were loved in a way that no one ever loved them before. Neither of them could describe how it felt, it was simply overwhelming. “Maybe we should head back, we have to get up early tomorrow.”, Cas said brushing over Dean’s thumb with his own. “Just a little bit longer.”, Dean pleaded, a neediness in his voice, that Cas knew too well and couldn’t refuse. Cas smiled and let his head drop on Dean’s shoulder. He could never be close enough to his little human, he thought, nestling his nose into the scruffy fabric. “I really like that coat.”, he said calmly. “Mmh”, Dean murmured and sank into Cas’ touch. “And I really like you, Dean.”, Dean chuckled at those words. Cas sounded so chaste when he said things like that. “I really like you, too, Cas.”.

They walked on for some time until Cas made Dean turn back, reminding him that they had in fact only a few hours before they had to get up again. “You will be grumpy and annoy Sam all morning when we don’t head back now.”, Cas urged and threw his boyfriend a stern look. “Yea, yea. Ok. Let’s head back.” Dean conceded, knowing that Cas was right. “But I’m not saying that we’re going to sleep when we are back.”, Dean winked, his tone sleek. “No, you’re right. You will sleep. I don’t have to.”, Cas said exasperatedly. He would not let Dean play his little games, because he knew they would both pay for it the next day. “Oh, come on.”, Dean really pulled out all the registers in his voice to sound sexy and smooth. But Castiel was smarter than that. Well, most of the times at least. “Good, let’s get back and see.”, he shrugged and Dean, certain of his success, let himself be led back to the motel. “Cas.”, Dean drew out the word as Cas locked the door and wiggled out of his parka, dropping it on the chair next to the bed. “No.”, he shook his head defensively. “Castiel.”, Dean crept up from behind him and wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist, slowly kissing the parts of his neck that were exposed by the sweater. “Dean, go to bed.”, Cas insisted. He wouldn’t budge. “I will. But do you know what would help me sleep?”, he hummed against the nook right beneath Cas’ ear. Tiny sparks bloomed were Dean’s breath hit his skin and excitement washed over him. It ran through him like ice-cold water and pooled in his stomach. “Dean.”, his voice started wavering, but he was determined not to falter. Dean continued kissing his neck and started nibbling at his neck ever so often, leaving little red marks on his neck and a trembling Cas between his arms. “Mmh?”, Dean acted innocently, his hands now traced over Cas’ abdomen, making their way further down. “We can do anything you want tomorrow, ok? We have three days, in a lovely Bed and Breakfast, with a … a lovely bed…”, Cas closed his eyes, he couldn’t concentrate. “Oh, we will.”, he felt Dean smile against his neck. “But tonight-”, Cas persisted with the last bit of self-restraint he had left. “Tonight, you have to sleep.”, Dean made a disapproving noise. Cas put his hands on Dean’s, that still massaged their way towards his crotch. Lust flooded through him now, he wanted Dean and he knew that Dean knew. He could feel him getting hard, felt it pressing against him. Damn this Winchester, he wouldn’t get his way. Not playing this unfairly. “Dean, I mean it. Not tonight. It’s almost 2 a.m.”, Cas turned in Dean’s arms and Dean’s hands landed gracefully on Cas’ ass. Their faces now only inches away from each other. He leaned forward and kissed Dean square on the mouth, longing and wet. Dean’s lips were so soft and pillow-like. _Perfect for kissing_ , Castiel thought. His hands reached up behind Dean, holding onto the hunter. With a sucking noise, they parted lips. Cas didn’t leave Dean much time to breathe but pulled Dean close again. The kissing turned more vigorously; a plan had formed in Cas’ mind. He moved against Dean, pushing him towards the bed. Dean had no chance to smile or even think, his head went empty and he just grinded with Cas, desire licking his insides like flames. Jesus, this angel made him go wild. With a muffled noise, Cas pushed Dean onto the bed. Dean was a mess, panting and flushed all over. His cock was already half-erect, twitching in his pants. Cas forcefully pulled down Dean’s jeans and his pants in one move. The clunk of the belt echoed through the room. Dropping down in front of him unceremoniously, to not waste any time, Cas got to work. “Ca-.”, Dean tried to pull him on top on himself, but Cas would not let him drag this out and be grumpy in the morning. “Tomorrow”; he promised and pushed Dean back flat onto the bed. Without giving Dean a chance to interrupt again, he bent forward and caught Dean’s pulsating dick in his mouth. Dean let out a stifled moan, his right hand gripping the bedsheet. Cas felt Dean move underneath him, jerking with lust. His right hand felt its way towards, finding Dean’s and entangling their fingers. The other kept Dean’s cock steady, pushing himself deep onto him. Both of them drowned in their feverish desires, Dean lost in the wet heat that wrapped around him and moved so devilishly up and down, letting him forget his own name. “Jesus, Cas. Yes.”, he huffed, his breath was shaking, and his eyes rolled back as he felt himself on the edge of orgasm. Cas, this sneaky little bastard, had played him. He would come and fall asleep in an instant. It would’ve been a lie if Cas said, he only went down on Dean to get him to bed faster. No, he was just as aroused and needy, and the feeling of Dean inside his mouth and moving underneath him was electrifying. Dean’s hand let go of the bedsheet he had held onto and pushed into Cas’ hair, playing with the black, tousled locks. “Yes, babe, please. Don’t stop. Mhm, don’t-”, he gasped, voice low and raw. Cas felt Dean was about to come, he could tell by the way his breathing changed, by the little huffs and sharp breaths. How his hand twitched in his own. Shutting his eyes closed, almost painfully, Dean concentrated on the feeling of Cas’ mouth around his cock. The tongue that slid up and down his vein. He was so close. “Babe,”, pressed out, he couldn’t help himself. As if following a command, Cas increased the pressure and tried to go down further, feeling the tip of Dean’s dick in his throat. He still hadn’t got the hang of that, fully. But Dean didn’t seem to mind, he yelped and hissed under his breath. “Babe, yes. Please, please”, his whole body shook with anticipation, he needed to come, his whole body hurt, compressed in desire. “Cas!”, he gasped as he came and his back arched in sweet release. For a moment he was just lying, his chest heaving. Shaking he brought his free hand up to his eyes, blocking out the light and trying to cool down. Cas sat up, wiping his mouth and pushing his hair out of his eyes. His head felt strange, dizzy and heavy and it was hard to keep his eyes open. He saw Dean still trembling from coming and got up to lie down next to him. His beautiful human had put his hand over his face, Cas knew the move. Quietly, he curled up next to Dean and put a hand on his chest. Dean grabbed it and pressed it firmer to his heart. “Jesus, Cas.”, Dean’s drawled, his voice already thick with sleep. “Shh”, Cas hushed and kissed his temple, rubbing his nose against Dean. “Sleep now.” Dean nodded, too tired to say anything else. Dean shook off his jeans and hurled his legs onto the bed. They curled up and Cas lazily took the blanket they had pushed aside to cover them both. The heaviness that Cas had felt in his head, spread into his body and as he lied down next to Dean and wrapped his arms around him. Finally, he gave in and let it carry him away. He felt Dean’s fingers twirl around his and then he fell asleep.

A loud and piercing knocking woke them up. “Hey, you guys awake?”, Sam’s voice carried through. Dean jerked around, drool on his chin and hair dishevelled. Next to him, a disorientated Cas moved ungracefully, still half-asleep. “Cas, we overslept.”, Dean grumbled, trying to keep his eyes open, which stung from the sudden wake-up. “Guys?”, he could hear Sam again. “Yea! We’re up. Give us a minute!”, Dean shouted at the door. He heard a sigh. “Ok, it's already 7:30, Dean. Hurry up. We’re at the diner to get breakfast.”, footsteps and then silence. Dean sat up straight. “Cas wake up.”, Dean reached out a hand and patted Cas’ leg. “We overslept”, he repeated as the realisation slowly hit. A line on his forehead formed as he tried to process the information. Cas never slept. And he defiantly didn’t sleep longer than Dean. He looked down to his side, where a still almost sleeping Cas lay. Cas eyes were half-open, fluttering shut every now and then, and his cheeks were flushed, pink from the warmth of sleep. Dean couldn’t help but stare at the angel, bundled up in bedsheets, a perfect, beautiful mess. Bed hair and everything. The sight was so bewitching, Dean didn’t even waste a thought on the question, _why_ Cas had slept through the night. Tenderly, he reached out a finger and brushed the black hair to the side. How stunning he looked. “What?”, Cas asked quiet, struggling to wake up. “We slept through, we have to get up now, sweetheart.”, Dean’s voice was soft and warm. A smile danced on his lips and was mirrored in his eyes. With his index finger, he stroked Cas’ cheek, feeling the tiny stubble on his jawline. “Come on. Up you go.”, he bent down and kissed Cas’ dry lips. The other kissed him back, fingers clinging to his shirt. “What time is it?”, Cas asked confused and yawned. “Too late, for Mr Samuel Morning Run.”, Dean replied, cynically. Cas propped himself up and leaned against the wooden bed frame. Then, like a cloud that had lifted, his eyes went wide. “I slept!”, he exclaimed, in shock. “Yep.”, Dean said, slipping into his jeans. “But I don’t sleep.”, one could almost see the wheels turning behind Cas’ forehead. “Why was I asleep?”, he asked irritation growing stronger with each syllable. “You tell me.”, Dean raised an eyebrow as he threw Cas’ jacket on the bed. Cas sat up, crossed-legged on the bed, contemplating. Was this just another aspect of his changing powers? Like the cold, he could feel now. Cas felt the mattress give in as Dean sat down next to him. “Hey, listen. We don’t know what _this_ is. But as far as I am concerned, you look damn fine in the morning after your beauty sleep.”, Dean nudged him to take the edge off, but only earned a piercing look from his boyfriend. In all honesty, Dean was a bit freaked out. He had been freaked out by Cas’ changing powers for months now. But he seemed alright. “Do you feel ok? Don’t lie to me, Cas. Tell me the truth.”, Dean prompted with a serious face. Cas nodded slowly, obviously thinking about the question. “Yes. I feel, good. I feel great. Last night after we were… _done_.”, he choked at the thought of it and Dean grinned, “I felt, tired. Heavy. And I laid down next to you, that must have been when I fell asleep.”, he concluded. “That’s how it works, usually.”, Dean smart-assed but Cas didn’t mind it. He just looked up at Dean, eyes round and flustered, searching for answers he would never find. “But now I feel fine. Rested.”, Cas went silent again. Dean moved closer, putting a hand on Cas’ knee. “When you say you feel fine, and nothing bad happened. Then it's fine.”, he offered encouragingly. “You fell asleep. No biggie. As long as you feel alright, I say everything is alright.” Cas smiled weakly at Dean; he didn’t know why it took such a toll on him. The cold, he didn’t mind so much, somehow, this was different though. Losing consciousness and waking up again had been peculiar. Yet, it wasn’t the worst feeling. He still felt the warmth in his arms and legs, the heaviness that had wrapped him up. The sensation of drifting off with Dean in his arms. It wasn’t unpleasant, on the contrary. Cas’ smile grew bigger and he finally looked Dean in the eyes again. “I’m good.”, he said with emphasis. “Good, then let’s go, before Mr No Bacon suffers a heart attack from driving off to late.”, Dean rolled his eyes jokingly and pulled Cas up onto his feet.

Sam and Eileen had already finished their breakfast when Dean and Cas entered the diner. They walked by the little nooks and tables in the centre of the room and sat down opposite them. Eileen had a friendly smile on her lips, while Sam eyed them both suspiciously. Dean gave him an annoyed look and dramatically opened the menu holding it up so Sam could barely see his face. “It has the same options every damn motel in America has, Dean”, he started but Dean just grunted disapprovingly. After Dean had ordered and a steaming cup of coffee sat in front of him, he relaxed. “Gotta have time for breakfast, Sammy. Most important meal of the day”, he winked mockingly, and Sam wanted to counter but Eileen lay a hand on his arm, signing him to give Dean a break. _Fine_ , Sam signed back and rolled his eyes, Dean just smiled thankfully at her, a silent understanding. Dean’s food arrived and his eyes sparkled in excitement, he was _hungry_. His first bite of bacon was heavenly and the pancakes didn’t disappoint as well. As he dug in, not minding how he looked, Cas shifted uncomfortably on his red-leather seat. “You okay, Cas?”, Sam asked attentively. “Mmm”, Cas answered, barely able to part his eyes from Dean’s plate. Dean, who heard the conversation, looked up at his boyfriend and saw the look in his eyes. Irritation washed over his face, but then it dawned on him. Hastily, he swallowed and held his fork towards Cas. “Are you hungry?”, he asked, examining Cas’ face tentatively. “I think so.”, Cas said slowly and took the fork from him. His head tilted like it always did when Castiel couldn’t place a thought or feeling. Carefully he pierced through some of Dean’s sausage. It tasted good, still like a million molecules, but different. Fulfilling. Warmth spread in his belly and with every bite he felt stronger, more like himself again. In admiration and wonder, Dean just watched his lover eat, getting more confident with every bite. It was weird, to see Cas wolf down his food. And yet, it was the most adorable sight. Cas ate like a child having cake for dinner. Sam and Eileen looked worried and perplexed but didn’t interrupt. “Better?”, Dean asked when Cas had finished almost the entire plate and put his fork down, sheepishly looking up at Dean. “Yeah. Sorry”, he mumbled, realising that he ate Dean’s food which he knew was a no-no, usually. “That’s ok”, Dean reassured him, voice gentle and calm. Sam raised his eyebrows at this statement, _since when_? But Dean didn’t pay him any attention. His eyes were fixed Castiel. Blues eyes met green eyes over the plate and Dean felt so full of love, his heart might have given out on him right there and then. No one said another word, Dean paid, and they left for the car.

It took a minute for all of them to process what had happened at breakfast, but it wasn’t too long after they started driving, that the air felt lighter again. Dean had put on some new singer he had found, Cas and Eileen bobbing their feet in unison and Sam quietly enjoying the music. Fields and cities flew by as the sun started to settle. The ride took longer than expected and when they finally arrived at their B&B, the sky was pitch black and the stars were covering it, like a thousand diamonds on velvet. All of them were tired, sitting in the car all day, only stopping a few times to freshen up and grab a burger on their way. Their legs hurt and their backs were aching and only when they walked up the white wooden stairs to the reception, did they start to relax. “I think we are calling it a night, guys. 9 a.m. breakfast?”, Sam asked, and Cas nodded. Dean was too tired from driving to make a sound and just held onto his boyfriend. Intuitively Cas slung his arm tighter around him as he signed _good night_ to the other couple and Eileen added _see you tomorrow, loves_ with a smile. “Let’s get you to bed.”, he said, planting a kiss on Dean’s cheek. The B&B was small and cosy, rose-wallpaper covered the walls on the staircase, winding up with the white varnished bannister. Dean immediately let himself fall onto the bed, burying his face in the soft sheets. “Dean, shoes.”, Cas reminded him, putting down their bags on the chair next to the door. He could only hear muffled noises, which he assumed was a _yes, ok_. Forcefully Dean rolled onto his back and kicked off his shoes. Rustling noises came from the bag, as Cas searched for their pyjamas, he wouldn’t leave his street clothes on for another night. He put two white cotton shirts on the bed, flicking Dean’s arm to stop him from falling asleep before changing and then proceeded to take off his own clothes. Goosebumps appeared when he was stripped to his boxers, and as he pulled the shirt over his head, he breathed in the clean smell of unworn fabric. Dean had made it into an upright position, tugging at his shirt and lazily dropping everything on the floor. Shooting him an unnerved look Cas collected them and put the clothes neatly on top of their bags. With a click, the lights were turned off and the room went dark. “Scooch”, he commanded an already settled in Dean, who wrapped the sheets around him like a caterpillar its cocoon. Dean obeyed and shuffled closer to the wall, rolling onto his side, getting ready to spoon. Cas nuzzled against Dean and wrapped the covers around them. A quiet smile spread on his face in the dark as he took Dean’s arm and pressed it tighter around him. He wasn’t particularly tired, only faint dizziness settled in his head, but it was not like the heavy, pounding exhaustion from yesterday. Calmly, he snuggled with Dean wrapped around him, in a state of ignorant bliss, somewhere between awake and dreaming.

Sunshine woke them in the morning, tickling their noses with mellow light. Cas had gotten up somewhen in the night and watched some episodes of _The Good Place_ on his phone to not disturb Dean, but after a few episodes, he had crawled back under the covers, missing the warmth of his human. “Good morning, love”, Cas turned around to face his beautiful boyfriend. Dean’s eyes were tiny and still swollen from sleep, his face was pink from the warmth of the bed. “Good morning, sweetheart”, he grovelled, voice scratchy from the first words of the day. Cas leaned forward and caught Dean’s lips with his own, forcing them to part with his tongue. Defenceless, Dean’s hands searched for a hold on Cas’ waistband, pulling him close. Heat build between them, tinted with the sloppy movements of lovers’ mouths in the morning. Cas’ hands ran up Dean’s body beneath his shirt, fingers tingling with the sensation of skin on skin. Carefully, but with determination, Dean flipped Cas on his back, sinking deeper into him, letting his weight softly push Cas into the sheets. Cas moaned in approval, tangling his leg around Dean’s waist. He noticed how the other grew more awake by the intensity of his movements. Thick lips moved across his face, wet and warm. Licking over his mouth and breaking through the heavenly gate. Cas sucked at Dean’s lower lip, playfully biting it. The sheets in disarray around them, twisting and turning with their every move. Slowly pulling away, Dean kissed Cas nose and then pressed his lips against Cas’ forehead, eyes closed, bathing in the moment. “Good morning.”, he repeated and snuggled his face against Cas’ cheek, unable to part from the touch. “Did you sleep?”, he asked, and Cas shook his head, stubble rubbing against stubble. “We are supposed to meet your brother and Eileen for breakfast.”, Cas hummed. “Is that so?”, Dean teased. “Yes, in about half an hour.” “I think you don’t remember that correctly”, Dean stroked his thumb over Castiel’s cheek. “My memory is impeccable”, Cas countered, but Dean shook his head. “Maybe it was, my friend, but now that you're getting more human by the minute-”, he started but Cas pushed him away laughing. “Unbelievable!”, he exclaimed, faking indignation. Dean rolled on his back, laughing heartily. Cas seized the moment and jumped on top of him, stealing a kiss. “Come on, we already let your brother wait yesterday.”, Cas smiled at him, drowned in sunshine and white sheets, a perfect moment. “Ok, ok”, Dean conceded, putting his hands up in mock-defeat. After a shower and fresh clothes, both of them descended downstairs and into the dining room, that was mostly empty. Of course, Sam and Eileen were already sitting at a table, four cups of coffees on the table and two full plates in front of them. The glowing image of health and perkiness. Dean almost rolled his eyes. Cas’ fingers, entangled with Dean’s, tucked him forwards. _Good morning_ , he signed when they sat down as Dean murmured a _morning_ himself. “Did you sleep again?”, Sam asked, and Cas shook his head. “We should talk with Jack when we are back. Just to check if they feel something unusual.”, Sam proposed and handed them plates to help themselves at the buffet. “Yeah, you are probably right.”, Cas answered earnest. It was the right action, he thought. But Jack had already tried to feel into him, to sense if anything was off and didn’t find anything. “Look, Dean, they have pie”, Sam nudged Dean, who was the epitome of morning grumpiness, but at those words, his face lit up and he leapt off his seat. “Cas! Pie!”, and with that, he was gone. Shaking his head in admiration, Cas followed and put some of the eggs and bacon on his plate. He didn’t feel as hungry as yesterday, but it would look odd if he didn’t eat anything and he decided to try some of the food Dean liked. Just to see how it tasted. They settled for a hike after breakfast and made their way into the wildlife of Vermont, which wasn’t very wild after all. Noon came and went, and they soon found themselves back at the B&B. “See you guys tonight!”, Sam and Eileen waved to them. Dean liked spending time with Eileen and Sam, but he was looking forward to spending some alone time with Cas. Tomorrow they would be at that weird cider farm ( _who even drank cider?_ ), so they used the afternoon for themselves. Vermont started to grow on him, and they decided to explore the city for a while. Everything looked more colourful than in Chicago or Kansas. The buildings were smaller and brighter and every second street they crossed was fitted with picture-perfect trees. They definitely landed in a white-picket-fence neighbourhood. Children ran around, couples trying to keep up. Dean didn’t know if he wanted to smile or puke, it was so sweet. “Many young humans”, Cas noticed and watched two women put their little one in the stroller, who rebelled pretty heftily against them. “Yup”, Dean shrugged following Cas’ gaze. The moms had managed to strap in the screaming child, looking at each other in desperation. Jack flashed before Cas’ eyes and unconsciously he squeezed Dean’s hand lightly, looking at the small humans with their guardians. Dean watched him expectantly, trying to figure out what thoughts drifted through Cas’ mind. But Castiel did not confide in him the images he saw of Jack, imagining them as a toddler, imagining picking Jack up and handing them to Dean as they fell asleep. A small blonde child, overcome by exhaustion, resting their head on Dean’s shoulder. Didn’t share the picture of the three of them on a playground, Jack running around and bringing them red and orange leaves in fall. He didn’t know what it was, fear maybe? Or embarrassment? For a second a shivering bleakness washed through him, and he couldn’t place it. He was happy with the family he had. He truly was, and yet, something tugged deep inside him, at his bones. “You ok?”, Dean asked concerned, witnessing the heartache that welled up in Cas’ eyes. “Yea”, Cas sniffled, still not understanding what had come over him. “Hey, there”, Dean paused, taking Cas’ chin into his hand, guiding it upwards. “What is wrong?”, eager green eyes pierced through him and Cas knew now and then, he couldn’t keep his feelings to himself anymore, those days were over. Now, they shared it, all of it. The happiness, the fear, the longing. “Its nothing.”, he said, trying to find the right words. “I just … I don’t even know what it is. I just thought Jack had to grow up so fast. So fast and they missed so much. We missed -”, shy blue eyes flickered looking up. Dean’s face softened as he realised what Cas was trying to explain. “Oh, sweetheart”, he pulled him into an embrace, hoping it conveyed everything that he couldn't find words for. “Cas, it's ok.”, Dean whispered, his mouth so near his ear, he could feel the tiny hair on his skin. “I know.”, came the weak answer. “I know, and I am happy, Dean. I am. I couldn’t be happier. It just.. sometimes its just,”, he couldn’t finish his sentence. “We missed so much.”, he breathed into Dean’s coat. His nails bit deep into the fabric, holding onto his lover, while the sadness slowly ebbed through him. “I know,”, Dean said gently, a knot in his stomach. “But there is so much life we haven’t lived and so many new experiences we will have.”, he tried to console him. Cas just nodded against his shoulder, he knew Dean was right. “And I look forward to doing all of it with you.”, Dean spoke tenderly as his heart started to race. “I could wish for no better future, than one I can share with you.”, his head was spinning, blurring his vision and setting fire between his lungs. Cas noticed the shift in his voice and the change in his breathing as Dean slowly pulled away. “I never saw myself growing old, or happy.”, gingerly he let his arms drop, his hands brushing over Cas’ sleeves until they reach his hands. “But when you came back and I understood what I have been feeling for all these years, everything got clear. Everything got easier.”, Cas looked at him in confusion. His head inclined, trying to figure out what Dean was doing, something felt different about his words, they were determined, solid and steady like bricks. Bricks that could build a house on shaking ground. “Life got easier, Cas. Because you make it easy.” Dean chuckled, a nervous smile on his lips. “I know we fight, and we quarrel, and I know, I don’t make life easy for _you_.”, he winked in an attempt to hide the tension that built in his chest. “But I, well, what I’m trying to say is, that I love you and I want to share everything with you. Share my life with you”, now came the part Dean feared the most because he didn’t want to mess up or make a fool of himself. Careful not to fall, he dropped down on one knee. Cas, who started to realise what was happening, froze like a deer in headlights. So did other people around them. Some stopped mid-street, staring, beaming, whispering to each other in anticipation. Cas could only stare in disbelief, his eyes wide with anticipation and shock. Trying to cut out all the people that started to gather around them, Dean focussed on Castiel and Castiel alone. He felt his trousers stretch where his knee bend, felt the dirt and the pebbles underneath him. Felt the sole of his shoe grinding over the pavement. “I love you, Cas. I love you more than I thought I could love anyone.”, his body went numb but his fingers still found their way into his coat pocket, feeling the little box that was tucked away so securely inside. He took it out and dared to look up again. With a click, he let the box snap open, his mouth went dry and his heart beat so loud he was sure everyone around them could hear. “So, what I am trying to say is.”, green eyes locked with blue eyes, “Castiel, will you marry me?” The question floated between them for what felt like an eternity and Cas, as if ripped out of space and time, could only stare at his human. For a second, Dean thought his heart would stop, but then Cas leapt down, taking Dean’s face into his hand and kissing him, heated and overwhelmed with feelings. Tears ran down his face and he shook violently with happiness. “Is that a yes”, Dean asked against his lips and Cas managed to nod, still pressing his face against him. Suddenly clapping and shouts of joy erupted around them. The small group of people that had gathered started to cheer them on. “Yes”, Cas finally pressed out. Dean closed his eyes, smiling wildly and kissing Cas again. “I love you”, Cas whispered his lips moving softly against Dean’s. Both of them had calmed down and the excitement was turning into bliss. Now, that his heart was not the loudest noise that Dean heard, the voices and the clapping became more discernible and a blush crawled up his neck. What was one supposed to do in these situations? Say thank you? Talk to the people? Why did he always manoeuvre them into these situations? “We should get up.”, he hummed, and Cas helped lift him from the ground. Self-conscious Dean brushed over his knee, sweeping away the dirt. He nodded to the people around them, mouthing _thank you’s_ at strangers who were beaming at them. Smiling and laughing, the crowd dispersed, some of them walked past, congratulating them, happy faces all around. The two moms from before, shot them affectionate glances as they pushed the stroller away. “We caused quite the scene.”, Dean muttered under his breath, flustered. Cas, drying the tears, that still hadn’t stopped flowing, laughed, he couldn’t care less. “Wait”, Dean stopped and turned Cas to face him. “I almost forgot”, he smiled and pulled the ring out of the box, letting the latter fall into his pocket. Still jittery, he took Cas’ hand, bringing it up between them and slipped the golden band over Cas’ finger. Marvelling at the shiny object, Cas stared at the diamonds and dainty setting. It was beautiful, the little stones that were arranged like rays of light, reaching outwards. Reaching towards the world. With a sharp breath, he parted his eyes from the treasure on his hand and looked up at Dean. “Thank you… it's beautiful.”, his blue eyes were almost weary with joy. “I’m glad you like it, I was close to going insane searching for the right one.”, Dean laughed, but the memory was still haunting him. “It is perfect.”, Cas teared up again and pressed his hand against the sockets of his eyes, trying to compose himself. “Good, you deserve perfect.”, Dean replied, sincerity lingering in every word. Cas leaned forward, snuggling against him, suddenly tired from all the emotion. “Could we sit down somewhere?”, he asked and peered up through long lashes. How could Dean deny him anything when he looked like that? “Sure, let's go get a coffee. Or something stronger.”, he mused. Cas linked his arm with Dean’s, feeling heavy and warm. Something had settled inside of him, a knowledge that he had never known before. It spread in his guts and he knew, Dean could feel it, too. He was loved like he never had been loved before and he loved Dean like he never loved someone before. Castiel had been alive for millions of years. He had seen how this world was built. Had seen the first sunrise and the first signs of life. Castiel had been alive for so long, but he had never felt, never loved so deeply than right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be only three chapters long, to be super poetic and keeping it with the Truly Madly Deeply theme but now there will be a fourth chapter, well, it is what it is. Have fun!


	4. New Beginnings

7 minutes to go.

It was time, Dean thought, his hands shaking more violently than he had anticipated. Sam stood next to him and even he looked tense. Second-hand nervousness, Dean guessed from the forced smile on Sammy’s face. Unconsciously his hand wandered up to his breast pocket again, touching the small flower and its soft petals to calm him down. Still there, everything was going to be fine, they were going to be fine. Hell, he had faced practically every evil thing in existence, he had faced _god_ and yet he never felt so nervous as he did now. So unprepared. Frantically he recited the vows he had prepared in his head, but the words soon blurred into incoherent strings of vowels and consonants. “You’re doing great.”, Sam whispered to him, sensing the tightness in his shoulders, but his voice was pressed and strained. Dean nodded; his face hardened in an attempt to compose himself. Excitement and anxiety crashed against his insides like waves against a rock. He wouldn’t falter, this day would be one of the happiest of his life, dammit. Sunlight illuminated the hallway, bathed the giant sandstones in golden light and filled the hallway with a warm and welcoming air. From the entrance right up to the doors that lead into the main hall, garlands of pink hydrangeas paved the way. Inside on each aisle, blue cornflowers and deep purple delphiniums decked the benches like an ocean of petals with specs of light pink peonies every now and then. It was breath-taking, Dean had thought when he first glanced into the room. Claire and Jack really outdid themselves. He should tell them later, thank them for all the work and thought they had put into this day. A smirk crept upon his face and his eyes fell to the floor. He really did it. This was his life now, trembling about vows and tearing up by the thought of his family, that cared so deeply about him. He made it. The smile grew bigger in the realisation of what he just thought. He was loved and he would grow old knowing it to be true. He would grow old being loved and he would love in return. Family was more than blood and, right now, Dean felt the words Bobby said all these years ago. For the first time, he understood.

“Go time!”, Dean heard Jody before he saw her. “Claire is on her way to get Cas. Come on, boys.”, she said as she slipped through the doors. Dean felt Sam straighten his back next to him, felt his eyes on him. “Ready?”, he asked and for a moment he sounded like the little boy he used to be, insecure and innocent. He looked up at his younger brother, lost in reverie and an unreadable expression on his face. “I guess,” he said clearing his throat. “Got the rings?”, Dean asked, and Sam rolled his eyes jokingly. “Secure in my pocket, as they were five minutes ago.” With a deep breath, Dean turned to the doors, “Ok, let’s do this.” Sam smiled and placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I couldn’t be happier for you two.”, Dean glanced sideways at those words and saw the warmth and sincerity in the round, hazel eyes. “Thank you, Sammy.”, he answered a thick lump in his throat, that barely let any air escape. As if they were preparing to go into a vamp nest, both steeled themselves and nodded. “Let’s go.”, Dean repeated but his voice was already steadier than before. His family got his back as always. All of them, he realised and with this thought, they entered.

Jody had taken her place next to Donna in the front row, her hand squeezing her girlfriends tightly. Donna bowed her head and gave a peck on the cheek, “Are the boys ok?”, she asked. Jody nodded, her eyes slowly welling up. “They look so handsome, Don.”, she whispered, afraid to start crying before the ceremony even started. “I bet they do.”, Donna winked and on this note, they heard a gasp rolling from the back rows further into the hall. When they turned around the reason for the awe was apparent. Dean and Sam walked into the room, looking like they just escaped from a Marc Jacobs shooting. Dean was visibly uncomfortable with having all eyes fixed on his walk down the aisle, you could see his hand twitching and his forced smile didn’t help to cover it up either. People on both sides of the aisles were smiling and waving at them, whispering words of encouragement as they walked past. The room was filled with people of their past, their families, and close ones. Charlie mouthed “you go this, bitch” as Dean walked by and he just managed to smile shyly back at her and her girlfriend. After what felt like an eternity, they arrived at the front where a small man was beaming at them, his smile reaching from ear to ear. “Hi Dean, hi Sam” his screechy, cheerful voice greeted them. Dressed in a suit a bit too shaggy for him and cowboy boots, Garth grabbed their upper arms and pulled them into a hug. “Hey, Garth”, Dean tried to keep his voice steady and his eyes dry. “You look ravishing”, Garth eyed him from head to toe, playfully winking at him. It would do Dean good to be annoyed at him, he thought, judging by the nervous mess he seemed to be right now. The words didn’t miss their target and Dean rolled his eyes groaning.

Most of the buzzing had died down since Dean and Sam entered the room. Agonising in anticipation for the second groom, the guests only muttered the occasional word to their neighbour, trying to keep the air light. Dean was glad for the little bits of conversation that filled the room like white noise and kept his mind from wandering. His eyes flew over the crowd, which was larger than he had expected when they first talked about the venue. Claire and Jack had taken over soon after Dean’s first breakdown (which involved picking the font for the announcement) and they had only been asked to contribute in giving their opinion ever so often for cake choice or to pick colours for the flowers. Now, that he saw the fruits of all their efforts, it touched him greatly. His eyes landed on Jack, who waved at him a big smile on their face. They wore a teal suit with a matching bowtie and Dean remembered how excited Jack was when they showed him. Waving back, Dean felt fuzziness curl up in his stomach and his heart almost burst with pride.

“Nervous?”, Garth asked Sam and nodded towards Dean. “A wreck”, Sam joked, Dean was too consumed with his own thoughts to hear anything the two of them discussed. “Then we just have to wait for the other dapper groom, mh?”, Garth said, and Sam took his place to Dean’s right. They didn’t need to wait long, as footsteps echoed from the hallway only a few minutes later. A solemn silence spread through the room and everyone turned to the entrance again, expectantly. Someone whispered a few words and a slowed down, instrumental version of “Lover” started playing. Dean would have laughed at the song choice, would have shaken his head in amusement because this was one hundred percent Claire trolling him (joke would be on her because he loved the song, not that we would tell anyone that). But Dean didn’t catch the song. He didn’t hear the second wave of gasping and buzzing. Didn’t see the smiles in the crowd. All his senses were pinpointed to one man and one man only who stood in the entrance across the aisle. The breath had been knocked out of his lungs and it was hard to keep his knees from turning to jelly. Cas stood in the doorframe Claire at his side and his eyes full of stars. Nothing mattered anymore, only that perfect face. Dean could tell Cas’ expression even being this far apart. He knew how the pink lips would be agape ever so slightly, how those eyes searched for an anchor in a sea of confusion and overwhelming emotion. He could see the line on his forehead deepen as he caught his sight. Knew the way his breath had changed as he walked in. Dean knew without needing to witness it. With a little nudge from Claire, they began to walk down the aisle and it was as if a spell had been broken. The music and muttering, the smell of the flowers and the light of the sun all flooded Dean’s nerve system again and made his head spin. Castiel walked towards him and his heart felt like it would stop beating like it was holding its breath. Slowly, Dean’s eyes filled with tears as his angel got more defined with every step, less a blurry shape and more the man that he saw walking towards him so many times before. Claire was beaming at him with glassy eyes as they reached them, but Dean could not tear his eyes from Cas. With a shaky breath, he inhaled. His mouth moved as if words were about to spill from it, but nothing came out. Dean was truly and utterly speechless.

2 minutes prior

A strange feeling overcame Castiel as he was walking towards the dark wooden doors that would lead them to the great hall. Everything felt heightened, every sound crystal-clear, every detail sharp, and, still, he felt bizarrely far away from all of it. He could barely feel himself walk and yet every step felt heavy rattled through his bones. His left hand held onto Claire in a desperate try to steady himself, clutching onto reality as he felt that he was losing his nerves by the minute now. Behind his ears, a constant white noise was growing louder and louder. And then, suddenly, they stopped, two looming doors in front of them. “Are you ready?”, Claire asked attentively, squeezing his hand lightly. Cas wanted to answer her, wanted to at least nod or shake his head but his body wouldn’t comply. Thickly, he swallowed and felt his throat close too tight around the fluid that was forcing its way down. It hurt. The white noise in his ear rang loud and shrill. He was going to faint, he thought as panic rose in his gut, crawling its way up his spine and into his mind. _I am going to faint_. This must be it, Castiel decided. He never felt this way before, not in battle, not moments before his – multiple – deaths, not ever. Everything inside him was screaming, rioting with dread, his eyes started to water. “Claire, I”, Castiel wanted to tell her that he might faint, that his body was betraying him. His voice was croaky and blunt and full of worry. “Hey, it's ok.”, Claire cut him off. She had felt his body getting wobblier with every step towards the doors, she could tell what was going on behind that frown. “This is just a lil’ stage fright. It's ok, we all feel that way before things like this.”, she whispered encouragingly, her voice laced with sympathy and a smile. “It’s like, I don’t know, a milestone or whatever.”, she nudged him playfully to ease some of the tension, maybe she could punch it out of him. “You’ll be fine. I promise, as soon as you go in, all of this anxiety will go away.” Of course, Claire didn’t know if that would actually be the case, or if Cas would be a nervous wreck until she dragged his ass up the aisle. But in moments like these white lies were acceptable and she would not let Cas’ nerves get the best of him. When it came down to it, she was his best man and she would ensure that two grooms would be up there. End of story. Cas flashed her a look; he didn’t seem convinced. With an audible gulp, he breathed in and straightened his back. “That’s the spirit.”, Claire exclaimed gleefully and tightened her grip on his arm. Castiel could still hear the noise in his head and all of his limbs felt too heavy to move. Without waiting for him to give a go-ahead, Claire pushed the doors open and a flood of quiet conversations, laughter, pressed voices washed over them, draining out everything else. Colours of different flowers and tulle-garlands mixed with the golden light that refracted through the milky glass and fell onto the towering walls of the great hall. The warm air of the afternoon floated lazily in between, embracing each and every guest. The voices were calming down, ebbing away as people turned towards the door, where Cas and Claire stood. Only the creaking of benches and the swishing of clothes filled the air now. Castiel saw the colours and the light, he felt the warmth and heard the moving of bodies to either side of him, but all his thoughts were emptied as his eyes fell on a figure in the far back of the room. All at once, the panic that had threatened to swallow him whole was simmering down leaving only a little tweak in his stomach. The ground grew more steady underneath his feet and breathing became more natural again. Nothing felt displaced or overwhelming, now. He saw Dean and the momentary sensation of dread and worry subdued. Dean was standing there waiting for him, Dean in his suit and the little flower in his breast pocket. Dean with this silly smile on his face, Dean staring back at him across the aisle. Beautiful Dean Winchester. The air rushed out of Castiel’s body as his lips parted, taking in the sight that was his soon to be husband. When before his body wouldn’t move because he was scared, now his body refused to move because he wasn’t done memorising every single detail about this moment. He wanted to keep this forever. This exact moment. Seconds passed and a soft tug at his arm reminded him that this whole ordeal wasn’t over, the main part was yet to come. Almost mechanically his feet set into motion and his body followed suit. Familiar faces appeared at his side, smiling, mouthing words of congratulation, bright eyes and pink cheeks. Castiel didn’t know how his face looked like, probably a mixture of confusion and determinations as always. In reality, he was concentrating. Concentrating on the face that became clearer with every step he took towards it. Eventually, they came to halt and Claire slipped to his left side. He didn’t notice, all his attention was focussed on the freckled nose and copper eyelashes in front of him. Dean looked at him as if thunderstruck, he opened his mouth but said nothing and closed it again. Eyes searching his. Before Castiel could stop himself, he said: “Hello, Dean.”, as if they hadn’t been together less than 15 minutes ago. Dean broke out in a low laugh, his eyes falling to the floor before they made their way back up to look at him. “Hey.”, he said affectionately, a heat in his green eyes that still took Castiel by surprise. The golden spots in his iris were glowing and Cas thought he could forget about the world and only those golden spots would remain. “We all made it here, great.”, came Garth’s cheerful comment, neither Cas nor Dean looked at him, they were still entranced with each other’s eyes, soaking in every second of this moment. After all, it was finally happening, and Garth was right: they made it here.

“So.”, he called out as he slapped his hands together. The music softened as Garth spoke, simmering down to a comfortable whisper. Castiel smiled at Dean and they both took a step back, to face Garth and to prevent themselves from making out, right this instance forgetting about etiquette and the correct order of things. “As you all know, we have gathered here today to honour and celebrate, the love of these two extraordinary men.”, he started and already Dean heard Sam choking up next to him. In exasperation he rolled his eyes, if someone had the right to start crying, it was him. There were yelling and cheers of approval, someone whistled, and Dean could bet it was Charlie. Grinning, Garth nodded towards the noise and held up both hands. “I’m glad we agree. To be honest, both of them are quite the piece of work sometimes and I would understand if you are more torn about that last part.” More laughter echoed through the room. “Still,” Garth exclaimed, “With their faults and quirks, we love them almost as much as they love each other.”, Garth paused and turned his head from Dean to Cas, his smile could not grow any wider. “You guys have been to hell and back, died more times than any of us could count, got your ass into purgatory and, as I have heard, in another universe altogether.”, Dean flinched at the words and looked at Cas who raised a scolding eyebrow at Garth but his eyes twinkled with kindness. “What I want to say is this.”, he continued with emphasis, “You were torn apart by life, by fate, and god but you always made it back to each other. Every time you fought, and you struggled, and you did not give up until you were together again. It didn’t matter if everything went to shit around you, or if all the odds were against you. You always found each other again. I feel like the word love is almost not enough to understand what you two must feel for each other. There is something deeper and more genuine in your love than I have words to describe.”, Cas’ throat did that thing again where it felt too big for him and his eyes were stinging with tears. Opposite him he could tell Dean was fighting with his emotions, too, trying so hard to keep a straight face and Cas knew he was deliberately not looking at him. Dean knew when he would as much as glance at Cas now, he would lose his composure completely.

“Luckily,”, Garth was now facing the audience again, “I don’t have to find more words, because the lovely grooms have prepared their vows themselves and I will now leave the floor to them. Castiel, do you want to start?” Castiel flashed Garth a nervous smile and nodded. Dean felt his heart jump in his chest, and his eyes finally landed on Cas.   
“Dean,”, Castiel’s voice was uneven and raw with emotion. His breath hitched and with an inelegant hand movement he took out a tiny piece of paper with dense letters and ink smears. “I have lived many millennia. I have seen the dawn of time and the rise and fall of hundreds of empires. I say I lived, but I merely existed when I think back of it now.”, Cas paused and looked at Dean, his eyes were piercing through him. Dean needed to understand this, he needed him to feel what Castiel felt. “I wandered earth because it was my duty and I did what I was supposed to do and then I met you. You turned my world upside down and nothing made sense anymore until everything made more sense than it ever did. Through you and through everything we’ve been through together, I learned what it meant to live. And I learned what it meant to love and today I can say without a doubt in my mind that I live, I live every second of every day and I love every second of every day. I never felt more sure of what life was supposed to be. You know all that because I already told you before.”, a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, the memory still clear as day. Dean’s eyes were glassy, and his hand twitched with the desire to reach out to Cas, to hold his hand. “But I wanted to say it in front of all of these people, again. I want to tell everyone that I am in love with the most caring and loving and kindest human being that I ever met. Most people think that I saved you in hell. The truth is, that when I first laid hand on you in hell, _I_ was saved, Dean. You saved me because with you I felt free for the first time and I was able to be myself. I think what I wanted to say is, thank you for saving me. And”, Cas’ breath hitched as he fought down the sob that wanted to crawl up his throat. His hands had begun to shake, and he shook his head slightly so his vision would become clear again as the words started to blur in front of him. But it wasn’t his eyes playing tricks on him. The ink was running from the tears that had started to roll down his cheeks and dripped on the paper. “And”, he started again with his voice scratching from the quiet sobs that he could no longer hold back. “And, I promise to care for you and to love you for all eternity and longer.”, his adam’s apple bobbled painfully in his dry throat and he looked up. Dean was barely keeping it together, tears collecting at the rim of his eyes. Someone in the crowd blew their nose and someone full-on cried somewhere in the back. Cas didn’t dare to look at the people around him, he only looked at Dean through the veil of tears that blurred his vision and his mind. Behind Dean, Sam was pressing the back of his hand against his eye sockets. Even though Dean had steeled himself before because he knew two words of Castiel were enough for him to break, felt his defences melt. His heart was racing, and he wanted nothing more than grabbing Cas and kiss him senseless, but that wasn’t what he was supposed to do right now. He had to be patient. “That was beautiful,”, Garth said, his own voice breathy. “Dean.”, he gestured towards him and Dean’s heart sank with a sudden thump. His turn. Slightly nauseous and with jittery hands he pulled out the note from his pocket. It was crumbled on the edges and worn out on the crease from the many times he had unfolded and folded it again. He cleared his throat, trying to get his voice steady because at his state he wouldn’t put it past him that his voice would just give up on him. “Mh, okay.”, he shook his head, why couldn’t he just read what was on the damn paper. This would be a disaster. He could feel it. He never has been good with words, hence why he put them down. But even with the paper in front of him, his mouth denied him the service. He cleared his voice again and shook out the paper. _Keep it together, man, keep it together_. Apologetically he looked up at Castiel, trying to convey _I’m sorry I am so bad at this_ , but when green eyes met with blue all he could see in Cas’ eyes was love and wonder. This angel would not care how clumsily Dean put this if he would stumble over words or not. When they would watch a film and Dean would trip over his own words because his mind was quicker than his mouth, Cas always waited patiently for him to repeat and put his thoughts in order. Cas would never laugh at him or be annoyed at him for bumbling. He would look at Dean like he did right now, in affectionate puzzlement, eager to know what Dean wanted to tell him but calm enough for him to wait. Some of the anxiety settled in Dean and he threw a small smile to the crowd to charm his way out of his awkwardness. _Breathe and just read what you have written,_ Dean thought and closed his eyes for a moment. When he would open them again, he would just look at Castiel when things got heavy, because that always worked. Like a spell, and just like that he began.

“Cas. I never thought I would be here.”, he read the wonky handwriting, his voice grew weary, fearing that he might put himself out there too much. “I never thought I would get married, or honestly live ‘til the age of forty.”, he laughed even though he knew it wasn’t a laughing matter. “When I thought about my future it was always hunting and surviving. It was about making it through to the next mess.”, he paused to catch a glimpse of Cas who was wiping at his puffy eyes, lips agape and pink and perfect. “For the most part of my life, I was ashamed and afraid. Not only for what I thought I did wrong but also because of who I was. I drowned most of this in booze and work, so I didn’t have to face it. But deep down I always knew something was different with me. Something I couldn’t tell dad, something that I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. And then you appeared. With thunder and literal sparks, which was kinda on the nose, to be honest, but, well, I didn’t catch it then.”, he winked and Castiel almost rolled his eyes but was too busy trying to keep his composure to risk it for that. From the benches came laughter and Dean glanced sideways, confidence bubbling up in his chest. His eyes glistened and a small but radiant smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. “And even though my first choice of action was to stab you with a knife, you didn’t back down. Since then, you rarely have backed down, which is one of the things I love about you most. You don’t give up on me, even when I give up on myself. You don’t falter, you don’t stop picking me up and putting me back together every time I mess up.”, his voice cracked, and the smile slowly faded as the impact of his words hit. Tears started to well up in his eyes, forcefully making their way up. “I-”, Dean swallowed and cleared his throat, a single tear breaking free by the motion. “I never felt like I deserved anyone to do this for me. I never thought that I _could have_ someone who would do it, again and again, and again, never questioning why. But you did. You stood by me and you pieced me together every time. I love you, more than I thought anyone can love anyone. I still learn to understand how I deserve so much happiness. I still learn to accept the way you see me. Meeting you has changed my life in more ways than you think, and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I love you, Castiel. I love you and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. So, I vow to stay when it feels easier to leave, and I vow to care when I want nothing more than to stop feeling. I vow to love you with all that I got because that is all that I can offer you.”, with shaking hands Dean folded the paper and stuffed it in his pocket. Tears were falling from his face onto the shiny wooden floor. He wasn’t alone in that; Cas was trembling from crying and Claire had her lips pressed so tightly together that they were white. Without thinking, Dean reached out and closed his hands around Cas’ shaking fingers. He smiled through the tears. Stifled sobs and shushes were coming from the crowd. “Thank you, Dean.”, Garth wiped his eyes, the words stumbled wetly out of his mouth. He placed a hand on their shoulders and looked into the room. Red noses and glassy eyes were looking up at them, Jody pressed a handkerchief against the bridge of her nose as Donna patted her hand. Jack had curled themselves close to Kaia, who held them as Jack was smiling and crying, looking up at their fathers. “I think now that there is not a single dry eye left anymore, let’s cut to the chase. Sam, if you please.”, Garth gestures to a panting and teary-eyed Sam who fumbles with his breast pocket, producing a tiny velvet box. With jittery fingers, he opens it and two simple golden bands glimmered in the setting sunlight. Solemnly Sam passes them out to Cas and Dean who slowly let go of their hands and instead close their fingers around the delicate object placed into their palms that bore too much meaning to be so light.

“Castiel, do you take Dean Winchester as your lawfully wedded husband? Then say I Do.” Castiel squeezed Dean’s hands, his eyes fixed on the golden freckles before him. “I do”, he breathed, the words were so full of love and want that they made Dean blush. Long fingers pushed the band over Castiel’s ring finger and Dean let his touch linger for a moment. “Dean, do you take Castiel as your lawfully wedded husband, then say I Do.” Dean felt the heat in his cheeks and neck, he felt the tears drying on his skin and the hands of the man he loved between his. This was more than he ever dreamed he was allowed to have. This was more than he ever thought he deserved. A family that loved him the way he was. Unconditionally. For a moment the tiny voice in his head rose again trying to convince him that this was not right, but he drowned it with two simple words: “I do.” Castiel’s finger brushed over Dean’s as he slipped the ring on that strong hand that shook beneath his own. A sigh rippled through the crowd behind them and a few people already started to cheer. “With the power vested in me by all 50 states,”, Garth’s voice grew louder with each word to stay audible above all the hoots, “I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss each other.” He had to yell the last three words as the room erupted in sighs, howls, and clapping. Dean didn’t lose any time but leapt forward, grabbing Castiel in the process and pulling him close. With a grin that could almost be described as salacious, he crashed his mouth against Cas’ who matched his excitement and wrapped his arms around Dean in a heartbeat. Not an inch of space between them they kissed, long and feverish. Castiel felt the soft lips on his own and forgot about the room and the people in it. Right now, there was only Dean and him, embraced and full of joy and love. His lips moved over Dean’s, eager to taste and feel as much as possible. Growing gentler, Dean’s hand wandered to the small of his back, lingering there for a moment before he bent him downwards. Surprised by the course this kiss was taking, Castiel froze for a second. Smiling against his lips, Dean guided him even further back and Castiel melted under his touch, letting him bend him back until his leg went up in an attempt to keep himself balanced. Dean got exactly the reaction he wanted to achieve as the cheering and hooting reached unholy levels of volume. Carefully, trying not to make them both tumble, Dean pulled Cas upright again. As soon as Cas felt his foot solid on the ground again he couldn’t suppress raising both of his eyebrows at Dean as he broke away from him. _Was that really necessary_ his face asked, and Dean just innocently shrugged with that askew smile on his lips that made Castiel want to strangle and kiss him at the same time. “I love you”, the hunter whispered, his eyes growing soft and Castiel couldn’t maintain his scolding look but flustered and smiled against his will: “I love you, too Dean.” The music had picked up again, playing a slowed-down version of “Time After Time” and Castiel remembered the song from one of the movies that Dean had made him watch. Interlacing their fingers, they finally turned to the crowd. No one was sitting anymore, some stood arm in arm, some clapping furiously, some wiping away tears. Charlie was yelling some obscene things that made the people around her buckle with laughter. Sam who had waited until now, took a step forward and pulled both of them into a close embrace with puffy cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. “Congratulations, guys.”, he murmured into the fabric of their suits, squeezing their bodies in a suffocating grip. “I’m really proud of you.”, he sniffled, Dean clumsily patted his back and Castiel managed a “Thank you, Sam.”, when Sam finally pulled back, letting them breathe. The room was filled with screams of best wishes and laughter. Claire only looked at them with red eyes and a small smile, nudging Dean on the shoulder with the words: “Congratulations, pops.” Dean beamed at her, not able to contain the joy and excitement that grew with every second, now that the scary part was over. Jack was the first one to run towards them, almost knocking them over as they rushed into a hug, wrapping their arms around them. “You did it”, they looked up at them with bright eyes. “Can you believe it?”, Dean asked winking and Cas could only look between the two, a warm smile blooming. More and more people came up to them and some started to throw flower petals. “My boys,”, Jody cried throwing her arms first around Dean before she turned to Cas, holding him at arms-length: “I could not wish for a better son-in-law than you, my love.” Showered with flowers, cheers and congratulations, Castiel and Dean waved, shook hands and hugged their way through the guests. “Good job, bitch!”, Charlie exclaimed as she hugged them both, “I told you, you were meant for each other, didn’t I?” In the distant Dean heard bottles of champagne popping and someone shrieking as the bubbles overflew. Next thing they knew, Alex pushed two glasses into Cas and Dean’s hands. “To the grooms!”, she yelled and there was a roar from the rest of the room. It all happened in a frenzy and soon two, three drinks were downed – always to the health and happiness of the newly wedded husbands of course. Tipsy from the champagne – to his defence he was not used to this bubbly stuff – and overwhelmed by all the people, Dean buried his face in Cas’ shoulder, tiny drunk happy-noises escaping his lips. “You ok?”, Cas asked worried and reached the arm that was not holding a full glass around him. “Mmh.”, Dean nodded into the fabric. “Just a lot of… _feelings_.”, he admitted and pressed his nose even deeper into Cas, breathing in the familiar smell. Fondly, Castiel turned his head ever so lightly and kissed the hazel hair beneath him. “We could move outside.”, he offered but Dean refused. “No, no. I wanna stay.”, and then Dean’s face was on Cas’ neck, planting easy kisses along the curve of his adam’s apple. “Yeah, staying in seems like a plan.”, Cas sighed, bathing in the attention of Dean’s lips, his hand wandering dangerously low down on Cas’ body but before they could pursue anything that would guarantee an offended face from Claire, they were cut short by Jody yelling: “Okay! I am informed that the dinner is ready and y’all had too much booze on too empty stomachs anyway, so, move people. Especially you, Dean”, Jody pointed a warning finger at him and then proceeded to guide the wedding party towards the entrance. “How does that sound?”, Castiel asked booping Dean’s nose with his own. “Perfect.”, Dean whispered, kissing him gently and slow as if they had every time in the world.

Dinner was going smoothly, everyone being too hungry and tipsy to make grave speeches. That was until Sam finally got up, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol. Eileen looked at him, half-concerned and half-amused. “Hey, everyone! Listen.”, his words slurred at the end of the sentence and Dean immediately tensed up. Of course, _of course_ , Sam would do something embarrassing at his wedding. Naturally. “Sammy,”, he started in his lowest and most older-brother-authority voice, but Sam shook his head, a grin on his face and started to tap at the glass with his knife. “Ok, ok. I don’t want to make any long-ass speeches no one wants to hear at a wedding anyway.” “Then stop!”, came the response from Ed at the other end of the table. Not paying him any mind, Sam went on undeterred: “But I need something off my chest.” Castiel’s head snapped up, anxious about what could follow that statement. “12 years,”, Sam started. “12 long fucking years, did I had to endure the bickering and the fighting and the ‘He is not my boyfriend, Sam’”, Sam deepened his voice to imitate Dean’s, flinging his arms around in exaggeration. “The ‘I am okay, Sam, Castiel didn’t hurt my feelings.’ And the ‘You are wrong, Sam, I am not in love with that angel.’ 12 years, I had to mediate and comfort these two idiots, who clearly were so madly in love with each other, that they risk this world’s fate multiple times – but let's not get into that.”, Sam laughed, mostly to himself. “And I am proud, proud as can be, to finally see them as the happy couple they are today. This took you too fucking long, and I expect reparations for the emotional rollercoaster you two put me on. Here’s to Destiel, or how it would be correctly spelt Deastiel!”, he raised his glass and some wine spilt over and dripped on the tablecloth. Charlie and her girlfriend could hardly suppress their laughter anymore. Seemingly pleased with himself, Sam ended his speech: “Ok, that’s all. Congratulations Dean and I’m sorry, Castiel, he is now yours to take care of. To the happy couple.”, a round of cheers went up and down the table as Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and Cas just awkwardly laughed with the rest of them. After the plates were emptied and the masses appeased, Jack got up straightening their bowtie. “I think its time to open the bar and the dance floor.”, they announced brightly and then decisively turned to Dean and Cas, who blankly stared back. “What?”, Dean asked cluelessly. Was he expected to say something, give his ok for people to get drunk and go wild? Donna turned to him, sensing his irritation and smiled knowingly. “You and Cas have to open with the first dance as newly-weds.”, she laughed as Dean and Cas’ eyes grew wide. When Jack had talked about dancing with him a couple of weeks back, Dean had said that of course there would be dancing, like at all weddings. Finally, the penny dropped as Dean realised what he had forgotten. _Like at all weddings_. Shit. “Ehm,”, he glanced at Cas who at this point had an expression of pure horror on his face. “Babe?”, he asked and touched his shoulder with ginger fingers. “Come on guys, its just a dance. You’ll be fine!”, Bess cheered them on, and a few voices chimed in, clapping and yelling words of encouragement. Dean got up, taking Castiel’s hand and leading him towards the dance floor. Sweating and too conscious of his stiff limbs he turned to Jack. “I don’t… I don’t know what song.”, Dean started but Jack just nodded and winked at him. “We have the perfect song!” A few moments of rumbling and clicking passed and then mellow guitar sounds echoed through the hall. Dean’s grip on Castiel’s waist tightened, he didn’t know the song, but it was slow and light. Maybe they could make it work somehow.

_I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish  
I'll be your fantasy  
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love_

_Be everything that you need_

The song was playing but none of them was moving. Dean’s fingers were digging into the fabric of Cas’ suit, unsure how to proceed.

_  
I'll love you more with every breath_

_  
_In a sudden burst of confidence, Cas took a step towards Dean, wrapping his arms around his neck, forgetting about standard dance moves, or the correct posture. He laid his head on Dean’s shoulder and started swaying with the music, slowly and tenderly. A smile swept across Dean’s face and he dropped his arms, reaching around Cas, holding him close.

_Truly, madly, deeply do  
I will be strong, I will be faithful  
'Cause I'm counting on_

They did not move too much, Dean lead them in tiny circles, his cheek pressed to Castiel’s hair. He had closed his eyes, partly because he didn’t want to face the people making them do this crap, partly because he wanted to feel this moment more than anything else. Cas’ heartbeat against his own, Cas’ hand loosely playing with the hair in his neck, his scruffy jaw, warm and flushed against his neck. He never danced with anyone like this before, damn he barely ever danced in his life at all.

_A new beginning, a reason for living  
A deeper meaning, yeah_

If perfect moments existed, this was certainly one of them. So, Dean didn’t mind the stifled laughter and the awes and the “cute” he heard from the rest of the party. He lost himself in the song and the sensation of Castiel’s body, his husband’s body, against his own.

_I wanna stand with you on a mountain_  
I wanna bathe with you in the sea  
I wanna lay like this forever

_Until the sky falls down on me_

“I like the song”, Cas whispered against Dean’s neck and the skin tingled where his breath touched it. “It’s a good song.”, Dean agreed, rubbing his thumbs over Castiel’s back. “I like you more, though.”, Cas continued, and Dean could feel him blushing next to him. “I like you more, too.”, Dean chuckled and kissed his hair. “This dancing is only half as bad, as I expected.”, Cas mused and pressed himself flush to Dean. “Yeah, but they’re still dicks for doing this to us.”, Dean sounded grumpy, but Cas knew he didn’t mean it. The song closed and there was another round of applause and hooting. “Yeah, yeah, yeah”, Dean pulled out of the embrace with Castiel, red in the face and acting annoyed. “Now, get on the fuckin’ floor or get me a drink.” Laughter followed that statement and Garth appeared with two tumblers of whiskey in his hands. “As you wish, big man.”, he winked and placed the drinks in their hands respectively. The music rose louder and soon the floor was filled with couples and lone dancers moving like no one was watching.

Only a few casualties were accounted for that day. Charlie, drunk on the amount of beer twice her weight, had been up on the bar top, re-enacting her favourite _Cayote Ugly_ scene until she dripped over and almost fell off the counter, at which point her girlfriend said their goodbyes and called it a night for the two. Kevin, having one too many appletinis, got into a fight with Claire over who the best power ranger was and to top everything off, Ed and Harry, oblivious to the fact that they couldn’t sing after tequila had convinced them otherwise, had given “Livin’ on a Prayer” a shot until Harry threw up in front of the whole party. All in all, it was a night to remember, or not, depending on your alcohol level. Dean had just put Sam and Eileen in a cab to get them home safely when he turned around to see that he and Cas were the last ones at the venue. “What a day, huh?”, he joked and walked up to his spouse. “And night.”, Cas added smiling wistfully at the remaining decorations. Thoughtfully, Dean took Cas’ hand, the ring shining in the lamplight and led it to his mouth, kissing it with light lips. “Wanna go home? Well, I say home, to the bed and breakfast, I mean.”, he smiled against the warm metal band. Lifting a hand to Dean’s face and cupping his cheek, Cas nodded. The promise of Dean in clean sheets, only wearing the golden ring sounded inviting.

All the sleepiness that had crept into their bones over the course of the day was suddenly forgotten as they entered their room. Dean hadn’t even closed the door when Cas was already tearing at his clothes, lips searching for their counterparts in the dark. “Easy, tiger”, Dean huffed locking the door and dropping the keys on the sideboard next to him. The metal landed loudly in the porcelain bowl, a clank piercing through the quiet night. Heat was pooling in Dean’s stomach and he could hardly control his body twitching and the rapid movements of his hands as he turned to face Cas. Longing eyes bored through the dark, electrifying the air around them. Restless hands wandered over dark silhouettes, feverishly tracing each nick and nip of the other’s body. No longer able to withhold his lust, Cas caught Dean’s mouth in a wet and hungry kiss. Licking over the slightly chapped lips of his spouse, sucking at the bottom one just the tiniest bit longer until he heard Dean groan into him. Hot air filled his lungs and all thought has left his consciousness. Consumed with the sensation of Dean’s mouth on his, Castiel’s hands settled on his hips, pressing his fingers into his flesh. He felt Dean growing more erratic, his hips convoluting towards him and shaking with the attempt to restrain himself. Dean cupped Cas’ face, keeping him steady between his palms. Thumbs brushing over his cheeks, leaving no space to break away. He wanted him, all of him, now, and Cas felt it. Stumbling and panting heavily, they made their way towards the bed, moving as one. Dean’s hands never leaving Castiel’s face. Only when Cas’ calves hit the wooden frame did Dean let go to guide them safely onto the mattress. Their kisses were still long and sloppy, dragging out and out until Dean needed to catch air. Cas laid flat on his back, his legs dangling off the bed. Pressed flushed onto him, Dean let his hands travel the length of Cas’ arms. They should’ve undressed before lying down. Tearing himself off his angel he shook out of his own jacket and threw it on the floor. Cas caught his train of thought and shifted to wiggle out of his jacket as well. It crumbled beneath him; he didn’t care to put it aside. Dean was about to haul himself out of his shirt as well when Cas stopped him with swift hands. “No,”, his voice was raw and laced with desire. He sat up straighter making Dean straddle him in the process. His hands settled on Dean’s thighs for a moment. They were fleshy but firm beneath the fabric. Now that his eyes were accustomed to the dark his gaze lingered on Dean on his lap who stared at him, eyes wide with longing. Slowly he lifted his hands and started unbuttoning the shirt, maintaining as much body contact as possible. Dean’s eyes fell to determined hands moving over his shirt, popping each button free. He swallowed thickly, everything seemed to turn him on right now. As Cas reached the last one, his pressed his fingers into Dean’s abdomen and he caught his mouth again in a kiss. He could make that last forever. Peeling out of his shirt, Dean didn’t break the kiss and as soon as his hands were free, they landed on Cas’ face again, pressing their mouths so close together it almost hurt. With the kiss, the grinding returned, and Dean unashamedly trusted into Cas’ lap moving in slow but pronounced motions. Cas hitched underneath him, clutching at his hips and digging blunt fingernails into the white singlet that Dean was still wearing. Tiny soft moans broke free from their lips as Dean’s movement grew faster. “Dean”, Cas breathed into his mouth, hardly able to form a word. “We still…need to”, he tugged at Dean’s singlet, hoping that the gesture translated his thought. Dean nodded against his face, his eyes were still closed, fingers still pressed against his cheeks. Cas pulled up the singlet, parting their lips to haul it over Dean’s head and then Dean’s fingers pulled at the buttons on Cas’ shirt, impatiently tearing the fabric on each side, ripping it open. Rough fingers hoisted the shirt and the singlet underneath over Cas’ head in one messy motion. Finally, free from too many layers separating them, Cas flung his arms around Dean’s neck and the other must have felt likewise because Dean pressed Castiel back down, chest to chest. As Dean moved on top of him, Castiel could tell he was half-hard already, his cock twitching on his thigh. Panting against him, Dean’s hands found Cas’ wrists and pinned his arms above his head, constantly grinding into him. Cas felt his own cock swelling in his pants, stretching against his briefs and precum gathering at his tip. The fraction of Dean’s crotch against his was mind-numbing. When their cocks touched through the fabric it sent jolts of need through Castiel and he wanted to beg Dean to undress further, to tear those pants off him. _Please_ , he begged silently, his hands frantically groping at every tiny bit of skin and muscle they could find. He pressed his eyes shut and concentrated on the feeling of Dean’s cock brushing over his. Dean’s lips were on his neck now, leaving hot kisses on his vein; sucking and nursing their way down to Cas collarbone, it was almost unbearable. “I want you”, Dean whispered leaving traces of saliva on his skin and his voice so low and coarse, aching desire lingering in every word. “Then fucking have me”, Cas was surprised as the words tumbled out of his mouth. He usually wasn’t the one for talking during sex, especially not like this. Dean raised an eyebrow at the cocky words, but a grin flashed over his face shortly after that could only be described as primal. _You don’t have to tell me twice_ , it said. With a heavy thump, Dean let himself slide back from the bed and landed on his knees. Cas hadn’t had a second to adjust or process what was happening when Dean pulled off his trousers in one sharp gesture, leaving Cas slightly taken aback in his briefs and now fully hard. “So”, Dean teased and pressed Cas thighs down with his hands, leaning forward to nibble on the bone right above his waistband. Cas wanted to sit up, telling Dean to come back on top, but Dean’s tongue started playing with the skin under the elastic now and all willpower left his body. He fell back, softly moaning in anticipation of where that tongue would travel to next. “Dean”, he cried. Dean continued playing with the briefs as if it were his favourite thing in the world, ignoring Cas twitching dick. He tugged at the elastics, letting it snap back into Cas’ leg and nursing the redding skin beneath. Excruciatingly slow he made his way to the bulge, tracing the outline with his lips. Hovering over it and breathing against the fabric, he tested and applied more pressure with his hands on Castiel’s thighs. In return Cas moaned, every shift of Dean made him want him more, his touch burning on his skin. “Mmh”, Dean hummed, his mouth still right above Castiel’s cock. “What did you want me to do again?”, he asked sheepishly. “Dean.”, this time there was a warning in Castiel’s voice, he knew Dean was toying with him, but the strain in his loins was getting more than he could handle. “I forgot what it was, why don’t you remind me?”, Dean asked his tongue darting out and licking an inch away from the bulge, driving Castiel insane. “I told you, you should have me”, Cas pressed out, his breath was short, forced. “Aah, yes. However I want?”, Dean asked, his own voice was getting clipped, even he couldn’t keep up that façade any longer. “Dean.”, Cas growled he couldn’t control himself for much longer. But just before he could say anything else and without wanting to, his hips jolted upward, thrusting in Dean’s face. “Na-ha.”, Dean chuckled and pressed down harder, keeping Cas in place before him. “Dean, please”, Castiel whined, his hips were still thrusting into Dean’s hands, begging for friction and unable to stop. “Ah, the magic word.”, Dean sighed and with that he kissed Cas’ cock through his underwear, catching it in his mouth. Castiel almost howled and his back arched upwards, relieved by the touch and the hotness of Dean’s mouth on his dick. Dean’s tongue slivered over the briefs, wetting it and Cas moved his hips again, pushing his cock further into Dean’s mouth. “You want me to have you, huh”, Dean murmured but Cas couldn’t answer, wanting nothing more than Dean to blow him. “Lucky you, that I promised to take care of my husband.”, Dean smirked, and Cas almost answered that in fact, this hadn’t been in Dean’s vows, but bit back the snarky comment. Hot and bothered Dean yanked down Cas’ briefs and wrapped his hand around his cock, his thumb pressing into the vein underneath, keeping it upright. Without any more teasing, he bent over and swallowed Cas’ cock, pushing past the tip and as far down as he could. He was quite skilled at that, now. Taken by the sudden wet heat around his cock, Cas gasped and gripped the sheets. Dean bobbed his head a few times to test out how far down to go, covering the rest of Cas’ dick with his hand, even though there was not much left when he leaned into it. His mouth closed tighter around Cas and his tongue twirled a few times rhythmically with his head moving up and down. Having lost the last bit of command over his own body, Cas toes curled, and he pushed himself further into Dean. Thrusting and moaning he fucked into Dean’s mouth until saliva ran down Dean’s chin dripping onto the bed. Lips pink and a sore sensation in his throat, Dean sped up his pace, his free hand wandered up to Cas hip to regulate the grinding and guiding them into a unison rhythm. Cas panted and moaned, calling out Dean’s name from time to time. Teeth and tongue scratched over the thin skin and Dean’s lip had swollen from the friction. Nothing came close to the taste of Cas. With Cas’ breathing getting more erratic by the second, Dean pressed his lips together tightly one last time and then tore away from Cas altogether. Confused by the sudden coldness, Cas cried out in irritation. But Dean was already up, sliding down his own trousers and boxers, kicking them away carelessly. Naked and his own erection growing steadily, he leapt onto Cas, pressing their mouths together. His tongue broke through Cas’ lips, licking hungrily at the insides of Cas mouth, searching for the other's tongue. One hand pinned Cas arm up, the other found his hips again, keeping him in place as Dean thrust their cocks together. He let out a hiss, the feeling of skin on skin vibrating through his body. “God, Cas”, he groaned through gritted teeth as Cas hand gripped Dean’s side, his eyes were shut and heat rolling through him in waves. Sitting up straighter, Dean straddled Cas again, rubbing their cocks together more vigorously, he was so hard by now it hurt. A constant stinging tore at his insides, aching to be released and he knew he had to fuck Cas square, he couldn’t keep dragging this out any longer. Through his lashes, he glanced down at Cas, who had his eyes still shut and a raw expression on his face. He looked utterly beautiful. Dean breathed in sharply. He knew how to touch him; he knew what to do to get Cas on the edge and over. Knowing that only he could get him there made his heart wrench. He could make Cas hitch and pant and lose control. He could make him cry and moan with lust and thrust into him like there was no tomorrow and as if only they existed in the entire world. Dean gripped Cas hand and intertwined their fingers. He could make Cas come and yell his name while doing so. Cas fingers curled around his until his fingertips turned white. “Cas”, Dean whispered, his voice cracking, he kept thrusting for a few moments then he broke their touch and guided Cas on his belly. Dean grabbed the lube from the side stand, rubbing the thick liquid between his hands before he pressed two fingers against Cas hole. Instantly, Cas spread his legs wider, giving Dean more space and Dean leaned over him, his fingers still massaging Cas. Placing kisses on his neck and base of his hairline he kept the circular motions, working his way in. When he pushed through, Cas’ body curved up and into him, a ragged breath escaping his lips. “Yes, please, Dean”, he croaked, fingers feeling forwards to find his hand again. Dean felt his own hips spasm, thrusting into Cas’ back, needing friction and skin. Lowering his head, he brought his lips to Cas’ ear, moaning into him. “I’m good, I’m good, Dean, please”, Cas whined next to him, urging him to finally get in and Dean happily obliged. Grabbing the lube again and pouring the cold fluid on his hand he smeared it all over Cas’ crack and then continued slicking his cock. The touch of his own hands already making him shiver. He placed a hand on Cas’ hip while the other kept himself steady, slowly surging forward, pushing deeper and deeper into him. Feeling Cas wrapped around him made him dizzy and he threw his head back in an attempt clear his head. Underneath him, Cas hitched and cried soft yesses. “Jesus, babe”, Dean roared, fingers digging into the fleshy side. He found a slow rhythm, rolling his hips forward and back, wet sounds coming from beneath as he pushed in and out. As he sped up, Cas moans grew louder and his words less intelligible. He whimpered and groaned when Dean’s thrust became more ferociously. His own movements were harder to control now, growing more erratic with each thrust and as he felt coming nearer to the edge he bent over Cas, reaching around him to catch his cock. Pumping him in strong, quick strokes Cas’ mumbling rose again and now that Dean was closer to his face, he heard the strange words falling out of Cas mouth and it took him a moment to realise that Cas was talking in another language. Suddenly it dawned on him. Shaking and panting, Cas moved with Dean, pushing back into him, longing for his touch and the feeling of him inside. The Enochian words rushing out of him sounded pleading and needy. Dean swallowed, grinding harder. Somehow, Cas talking in his native tongue turned him on. His hand fastened around Cas’ cock, and his thumb rubbed over the tip every time he went down, making Cas quiver. “Yes, baby. Come for me”, Dean was close, sweat gathering at his temples. Driving Cas into his hand with every push, Dean quaked and shivered, moaning louder and his whole body was tense. Cas lost his thoughts as he fucked into Dean’s hand, feeling him pushing inside from behind. His eyes were shut but still, white freckles appeared as he neared his orgasm. Hot and cold flashes ran through them and when Cas’ finger brushed over Dean’s hand and felt the metal band under his tip, he buckled up. “Dean”, he cried and with that he spilt into Dean’s fist, numbly tumbling over. His hand wet from Cas’ cum, Dean pushed in one last time, his whole body screaming at him and then a warm rush rolled through his body and he came with Cas name on his lips, echoing in every corner of his body. Dean slumped over; Cas was still shaking from coming underneath him. “Baby”, Dean repeated over and over as he came down, placing lazy kisses on every inch of Cas that his lips could find. Cas had rolled onto his side and Dean curled around him; their hands entangled. “I love you,”, Cas whispered as he rested his head on Dean’s upper arm. “I love you too babe.”, Dean answered into the black mess of hair in front of him, brushing his thumb over Cas' as he drifted off. Cas felt Dean’s heartbeat on his back slowing down. The air was still, and they could only hear their own breathing. “Now and forever”, Dean murmured into the tussled locks and they fell asleep in clean white sheets, the moon bright above them and their wedding bands glistening in the white light coming through their window. Soon a new day would begin. They had all the time in the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long, I was finishing my master thesis and of course, I forgot about what time is and when I wanted to upload. But here you go. I hope you enjoy the last chapter. <3


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